h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Now that they have warning labels on silly-string, this is the next best way to surprise your unwitting friend on his birthday
Flame Retardant Candles
Flame_20Retardant_20Candles
Designed to cut this sort of thing out! [Dub, Feb 16 2006]
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mthall, this would be great as a birthday surprise for my brother. He`s 38 years old, but when it comes around to his birthday you`d think he was five. |
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Sure, sugar burns well once you get it burning, but can you get it burning with the heat from a birthday candle? There's an old parlor trick where you challenge people to set a sugar cube on fire using a match, and they can't do it until you show them how. The trick is to rub it in ash first. But frosting made with ash doesn't sound appealing. Is there a more appetizing catalyst? |
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Goats' milk cheese rolled in cigarette ash may be less so.
(I note that your cheese is from the milk of one goat, whereas mine is the composite, but I feel sure that the ash issue will be similar.) |
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Before we each make an ash of ourselves, would a little liqueur/liquor in the frosting help set it off? I think that sounds a little more palatable. |
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Since this stuff is going to burn away in a flash anyway, it doesn't really matter what it is made of - just use gunpowder. Sure, there will be a bit of a residue left on the cake but after you have burnt the birthday boy's face off he probably won't feel like eating, residue or no. |
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why don't we consult with our resident expert? |
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afroassault, paging afroassault... |
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He doesn't seem to have replied... maybe he has been blown up by a freak explosion... |
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How about making the icing from exploding custard...
or even better, just fill the cake with nitro-glycerine... imagine trying to cut it... |
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Whipped napalm ought to spread nicely and go up a treat. Recommended for outdoor parties only. Put it atop a lump of batter and the cake cooks as the frosting burns. Or just immolate the whole cake and then have cherry pie and icecream. |
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[freak explosions: hate 'em. All those Fat Ladies and Human Skeletons and Bearded Women hurtling about.] |
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Opa!
Actually, alcoholic-beverage-flavoured icing sounds quite palateable.
Maybe you should just cover the top of the cake with birthday candles.
I wonder what the trick flammable frosting--the kind which keeps relighting itself after you douse it--would taste like. |
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Yes, just add a liberal splash of Stroh's 80 rum (that's 80% not 80 Proof). Yummy tasting stuff, too. Think it's from Austria. Blow your head clean off. |
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Unfortunately, I don't think just adding booze to the
frosting will make it flammable. While putting together
the drinks list for a tiki party a while back, I did a lot of
experimentation with booze, to see what would flame and
what wouldn't. I determined that you needed at least 52%
alcohol in the mix to start it going, and if you watered it
down even a little with fruit juice, you were stuck with
watery, not-on-fire booze. So mixing the 80% stuff in
would probably yield a mixture either too dilute to burn,
or else too liquidy to be frosting, or even icing. |
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Frosting is mostly sugar and butter, but in proportions
that make it more likely to melt - or carbonize - than
flame. |
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What you could do is soak sugar cubes in the 80% stuff,
and use them instead of candles. Alternately, don't frost
the cake at all, soak the whole thing in 80% rum, and
ignite your entire cake. Dense cakes work best for this
purpose. |
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I'm surprised (and a little disappointed) we all missed the obvious solution. Instead of a birthday cake, serve a bombe! What could be more appropriate? |
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[Mephista - Joy of Cooking, page 760] |
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Pardon the couple-of-week hiatus, folks, the Dr. has returned...
there are certain types of lemon/orange/etc. juice that can be up to 95% ALCOHOL and can easily be ignited. If you want some lemon flavored napalm frosting, just pour some of this stuff on it and set it on fire. YAAAAYYYY |
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now there are plenty of tastless chemicals you could add to frosting to make it explode, e.g. rubbing alchol, hydrogen peroxide, lighter fluid in small amounts(it would burn but not taste bad), then the stand by amonium nitrate(doesnt taste good but damn it will give you a bang for your buck) |
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Or potassium nitate - or pretty well anything nitrate, for that matter. Sugar/oxidiser mixtures are generally classified as 'smokebombs'. if you REALLY wanted a good burn out of it, you could use lactose instead of ordinary sugar. |
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Additionally, you could use different nitrates to get different colors. Strontium nitrate will have your cake burning a brilliant cheery red, with the bonus that strontium is eminently nontoxic. Barium will produce an entertaining green, with the drawback that you'll want to keep emetics handy if anyone should sneak a fingertip of icing before the spectacle. |
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Is it the alkalai metals that combust when exposed to moisture? or is it the earth metals? I forget. either way, sodium sprinkles (or jimmies if you must) applied after lighting the candles would be interesting. I'm sure the moisture of regular icing would be enough to make it burn. |
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On a side note, in high school, my chem. teacher took a ladle of molten sodium from a failed experiment, and threw it in a beaker full of water in the sink, and showered my lab class with glass and water. he was a crazy. almost killed himself with chlorine gas too. . . |
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Flaming christmas puddings are already thoroughly baked of course. I don't really know, though, how to make the cake inflammable without making it either toxic or dangerous. Many brands of non-dairy creamer can ignite pretty spectacularly if thrown onto a candle flame (Coffeemate doesn't seem to work, though). Perhaps someone near the cake could just throw some creamer to surprise everyone else? |
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//Is it the alkalai metals that combust when exposed to moisture? or is it the earth metals?// |
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Combine Methyl Ethyl Ketone with Styrofoam, and you'll have a creamy white frosting that the fire department would have a hard time putting out! |
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Around here flaming cheese is quite a popular dish. Just pour on the vodka and light a match to it. It would work to just pour some sort of alcohol over the already iced cake. |
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Good for really old people, where you're putting so many candles on the cake that you might as well just light the whole thing on fire. Croissant. |
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//I determined that you needed at least 52% alcohol in the mix to start it going// |
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Ah, pretty close to the original definition of "100 proof" IIRC. Though I recall for that the liquid was mixed with gunpowder, to indicate if it was too strong [<100 proof, won't burn; >100 proof, goes "poof"; ==100 proof, burns nicely] |
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Happy Birthday Dear Aunt Edna, Happy Birthday Ka-Boom |
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I am learning something today! This is a great idea. I don't know enough about pyrotechnics or food to add any ideas, but you have my heartfelt approval. |
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I have a question: Does 'inflammable' or 'flammable' mean 'liable to catch on fire'? I have seen both used for the purpose, although only the latter seems logical to me. |
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Baked - See my anno in Flame Retardant Candles [Link] - Simply cover a cake with icing sugar, add some candles and blow - What you (can) get is a fairly spectacular 'powder' explosion (and a permanently surprised expression if your eyebrows catch-light) |
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