Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Escalator School

For Irish people unfamiliar with how to use an escalator
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
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Passing through Dublin Airport I noticed signs placed on each escalator instructing persons unfamiliar with how to use an escalator to use the adjacent stairs or lifts. Fortunately I had used an escalator less than 2 hours previously (In Bristol Airport) so was able to use this useful vertical transport device without fear, but, assuming this rule is in place throughout Ireland, I became worried that Irish natives would have no place to gather the necessary experience to allow them to use an escalator for the first time.

I propose a school where people can achieve that all important first escalation in safety. Starting with instruction on a stationary floor, and progressing through staircases, stationary escalators and travellators, to that first big (tandem) escalation, and finishing with a solo free-fall of up to 10,000 millimetres. Master classes could also be offered in standing on the right and use of the emergency stop button.

MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 18 2009

The sign in question http://flickr.com/p...armiter/1305416156/
No, I can't quite believe it either [MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 18 2009]

For [xenzag] https://www.google....BAQ&sclient=gws-wiz
Excavator School? We've got options... [neutrinos_shadow, Oct 19 2021]

[link]






       [rcarty] Dublin has a population of around 1.6 million, and English is the main language spoken in Ireland. I suspect that almost no people encounter an escalator for the first time in Dublin Aiport. For those who do, an escalator school could be useful.
MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 18 2009
  

       way back when, our transit system started putting up "Walk Left, Stand Right" signage for escalators... it actually worked. But [rcarty]'s right though, I don't see the Gaelic translation.
FlyingToaster, Jan 18 2009
  

       It's probably aimed at the Poles. The Irish rather like the Poles, but they sometimes seem to view them as idiot cousins.
wagster, Jan 18 2009
  

       Yes - I think that multi-story buildings would probably be a must for my school. I agree that the sign is not just for Irish people, but since I come from a country where, rightly or wrongly, I can practice on 'live' escalators, I was able to use Irish escalators fearlessly. To follow the strict letter of the law, the Irish would have to go abroad to to this before using their own escalators, or visit my useful school.
MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 18 2009
  

       Is there a certificate at the end?
DenholmRicshaw, Jan 18 2009
  

       //Is there a certificate at the end//No, there's a flat bit and a sort of comb-like step.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 18 2009
  

       I never use escalators.
There are always signs telling me that dogs must be carried on them, and I haven't got one.
pjd, Jan 19 2009
  

       Made me laugh. +
blissmiss, Jan 20 2009
  

       + and also an Escalator refresher course!
xandram, Oct 19 2021
  

       I keep reading this as Executor School!
xenzag, Oct 19 2021
  

       I thought this would be a school in which lessons were held on an escalator, children sitting on the steps of an escalator while being taught and descending deep underground, then switching to an 'up' escalator halfway through the lesson so as to arrive back at the surface at the end of the period, ready to go to their next class.
hippo, Oct 19 2021
  

       There could also be an Excavator School where people learn how to dig holes, then use the soil they've removed to fill them in again.
xenzag, Oct 19 2021
  

       [hippo]; assuming a 'fast' 0.5m/s escalator & 1 hour class, that's a 900m long escalator!
Although, (assuming the 'up' & 'down' are next to each other), "go to the top of the class" would mean jumping over the rail from the 'down' to the 'up', ahead of the rest of the class (only works during the 1st half-hour...).
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 19 2021
  

       [neutrino] - I know - it would be great for geology lessons though!
hippo, Oct 20 2021
  

       Well I'm glad that sign is there otherwise I would be tempted to send a load of unaccompanied trolleys up the escalator.
pocmloc, Oct 20 2021
  

       I know praising other people's comedy just isn't done, but [pjd] is probably writing for television by now. Reminds me of the W.C. Fields line: "I always carry a flask in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."
4and20, Oct 20 2021
  

       What are the chances that, having been a recovering HB addict for 10 years, I pop back on, and discover that one of my ideas that (quite rightly) has been dead for 12 years, was brought back to life just 3 days ago, and is now on the recent 3 page.   

       Something very spooky is going on.
MadnessInMyMethod, Oct 22 2021
  

       Don't be with that naive innocent face. We know you were checking the site three times a day all those years just waiting for someone to comment on one of your ancient ideas.
pocmloc, Oct 22 2021
  

       hi [MMM] it was me…came up with *random*
xandram, Oct 23 2021
  
      
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