Escalator Decompression Chamber

As I went amongst the thronging hordes over the holiday period I came across a terrible affliction. The general location did not seem to matter as the stricken were to be found throughout the town. They were, however, specifically isolated to the areas immediately at the exit of escalators (inside shopping centres, malls, and department stores).

The presented symptoms would include disorientation, shambling gait, and, infrequently, a sudden communication with a neighbour in conjunction with a raised arm and extended index finger.

My theory is that these symptoms point towards a syndrome caused by the moderate increase or decrease in patient's elevation (approximately one storey) over a not-unacceptable period of time. Regardless of the cause, the symptoms tend to disappear after some moments (with varying degrees of dissipation). Yet, this is not the whole story: although the effects are temporary on the individual they are still put in harm's way and present a hazard to surrounding people as the hustle and bustle of the busy shop, mechanically encouraged by the very escalator that has struck them dumb, threatens to trample them.

My proposed solution is to cordon a small area next to the exit of the escalator ('chamber' may be a misnomer). Here, the newly zombified shoppers can gather to regain their senses in a zone safe from being crushed underfoot. I envision a chaise-longue placed on a yellow cross-hatched area accented by a bollard with a blue flashing light and an old-school alarm clock that goes off about 15 seconds after a patient arrives in the zone.

Not only would this 'decompression' area serve to remedy the bends-like escalator syndrome of the hapless, it would also have the societal benefit of clearing my path from such human debris.