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Erecto-Switch

 Never hear the phrase, "It happens to all guys" ever again with the flip of a switch.
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Have a switch or button located somewhere on the man's body. Flip the switch or press the button to cause nervous stimuli in the brain that signals blood to be redirected to the penis. Instantly, the penis is fully erect at its maximum potential. A feedback system keeps it from overflowing and it has to be shut off after excretion for "re-fueling." Of course a hold or lock system would have to be involved so one does not bumb into their switch or button causing unnessecary moments of bulging pants, but besides that, works like a charm. Future biological advancements could spin off into new sexually aiding mods for the Erecto-Switch.
—lostfurball, Mar 25 2002

Commercial Penile Prosthesis http://www.schwarzp...m/products/641.html
Here, it's not a switch but a pump. No brain activity necessary. [jutta, Mar 25 2002]

Evaluation of Erectile Dysfunction http://www.duj.com/erectile.html
As an illness, this is not as easy to evaluate as you make it out to be. Only some of the causes of erectile dysfunction involve "nervous stimuli". [jutta, Mar 25 2002]

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       Have you tried switching to Viagra?
—thumbwax, Mar 25 2002
   

       It's possible that the furball is causing a blockage somewhere.   

       Hmmm, I think I could have quite a lot of fun walking along a queue of men at the bank flicking all their switches.
—Helium, Mar 25 2002
   

       I would rather have a switch on my camping tent which would cause it to erect itself.
—Dog Ed, Mar 25 2002
   

       Baked for transexuals.

I'm *not* looking for a link.
—mcscotland, Mar 25 2002
   

       You may wish to consider electrical stimulation of the prostate. Then again, you may not.
—angel, Mar 25 2002
   

       For the fans of body-horror: a hinge, a motor, four lollipop sticks and a couple of rubber bands.
—calum, Mar 25 2002
   

       So how well do charms work, then?
—beauxeault, Mar 25 2002
   

       Or you could use this to stop old blokes rolling out of bed.
—calum, Mar 25 2002
   

       Or something to balance your book against while reading in bed. (Look! No hands!)
—mcscotland, Mar 25 2002
   

       I'm concerned with the installation procedure. After all, we're talking about more than a little prick here.
—cpt kangarooski, Mar 26 2002
   

       haaahaha
—Helium, Mar 27 2002
   

       Hey, Switches can fail and need to be replaced. In today's technology, why not implant the receiving device for the Clapper. "Clap up, Clap down. . ." Course this would tend keep you away from "applause" events like hockey, opera, etc.
—bobzaguy, Mar 28 2002
   

       Generally, genetalia and the clap don't go well together...
—StarChaser, Mar 29 2002
   

       It'd be handy for pitching horseshoes.
—waugsqueke, Mar 29 2002
   

       Fine by me, providing it's over the counter and looks like a deal at my asking.
—reensure, Mar 30 2002
   

       "M'am, let me help you with those groceries."
—waugsqueke, Mar 30 2002
   

       I think Mephista's after at least a prestissimo and irregular 6/5
—mcscotland, Mar 30 2002
   

       Nah . . . adagio legatissimo (think 'Bel canto') is better for this. Accelerando through the coda, of course.
—bristolz, Mar 30 2002
   


 

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