h a l f b a k e r yWhy not imagine it in a way that works?
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Dogs are notoriously unchoosy about their food. Having depleted locally available dog food, a dog will often move on and consume any available cat food. Cats presented with dry food take longer than dogs to decide on whether they will eat or not. When this decision is made for them by the dog, inbreeding
and low intelligence make it difficult for the cat to figure out how to avoid this outcome with future feedings.
BUNGCO catfoodologists have been working day and night (they start after dinner and stop when the good shows come on) to develop a pet food attractive to cats but repellent to dogs. Current research points to either a strong, fermented fish flavor (the odor of which can easily be detected anywhere in a 500 meter radius) or an overwhelmingly sweet flavor, to which cats should theoretically be indifferent but which has the drawback of attracting children and ants.
[link]
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I could use this. Damn dog stealing my cat's dinner!
(Although a simpler method is to put the cat food in a place the dog can't go. Mostly "up".) |
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// inbreeding and low intelligence // |
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... which tells you most of what you need to know about cats. |
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4. Chop up into little bits. |
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That's terribly cruel - dogs can get serious injuries
from eating cooked bones. |
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Anyway, [8th], we all know where you stand on cats.
If you ask nicely we'll tell you. |
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// we all know where you stand on cats. // |
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Oh dear... we thought no-one knew. It's become almost a sacred place to us, and now we'll have to find somewhere else. Unlikely to find somewhere with such handy facilities for rinsing off the blood, too. |
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There's nothing wrong with standing on cats, you know. It's quick, it's relatively painless, and believe it or not the cats actually enjoy it. Well, they enjoy it right up to the moment we stand on them - after that, maybe not so much. |
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