h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Clock a Dildo-do
Dildo based alarm clock, with an appropriate name. aka: The Dil-dong | |
Since there are so many alarm clock
ideas
prevalent, and most of them are as tame
as a hamster sleeping off a night of
smoking too much skunk.....
The clock takes the form of a base
station, from which projects a flacid
dildo,
(hence the name) that only becomes
erect and functional
at the
predetermined time set the night before.
If you don't pick it up and start playing
with it, within two minutes of its base
station's morning greeting (the
increasing sound of breathless panting)
the throbbing dildo
simply flops over disappointingly until it
is
reset.
Amazon.com recommendation engine says:
http://www.panix.co...-recommendation.gif
[jutta, Mar 31 2007]
[link]
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You mean it doesn't just brush up against the target, and then apologize when scolded? |
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Oh - that old idea. I only put that up at a
time when there were loads of other alarm
clock notions. Meanwhile, did you know
that a recent sex survey revealed 15% of all
women secretly keep and use a dildo, in
preference to their partner. In your case, if
your wife seems to keep waking up first,
maybe she is one of that 15%? I'd start
asking leading questions.... "how come we
always need AA batteries when we don't
have any appliances that take that size?" |
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I think this will work better for the men. Ladies probably won't mind too much either way, but I know that as a guy, I'd be out of bed by 4:00 AM if I knew a didldo was waiting to bugger me in the bum at 6:00 AM. |
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// Meanwhile, did you know that a recent sex survey revealed 15% of all women secretly keep and use a dildo, in preference to their partner. |
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I did not, and I wonder whether we mean the same by "all", "women", and "survey". Do you have a link for that? |
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Misstune and Breadharvey 2004 "The
Hidden Desires of aAA Generation" - an
obscure, but authoritative document.
They have no belief in the internet. |
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I guess we mean different things by "authoritative", too! |
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If you include the date in your search, your
catharsis may come. |
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I had thought Misstune and Breadharvey
was a bit of a give-away... but you did
ask - so I obliged with answers. |
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I think that it should um... intensify its
motion until you wake up |
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