h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Anyone who has ever painted a room knows that it easier to clean up afterwards if you put down tarps beforehand. Much easier than chasing around stray paint with a rag and sponge. But why is this prinicple not applied to matters poopal?
Now it is. The bumtarp is a stack of square thin films with
a light adhesive and a small slit in the center. The user peels off a tarp and applies it over the anus. After voiding, the user simply peels away the soiled bumtarp and is through. Some users may prefer to apply several bumtarps in the morning and work down through them over the course of the day.
The bumtarp would be useful for the hemorrhoided, the frequent, the chafed, the skidmarked and the lazy.
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Ewwww, but have a bum....err I mean bun. |
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"Bum(w)rap" would be a more fitting title, I would think. |
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Bunghole,...um, Bungston, there is something wrong with your analogy. You see, the poop will be coming from *inside* your body, not from outside. I doubt that your paperettes will hold so airtight around the anus that they can prevent "inside jobs", if you understand what I mean. |
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However, if you are putting on soiled underpants, then I believe bum-tarps can provide useful protection. |
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Have these "poop-tarps" cover the backs of the legs and ankles, so when I'm taking a pit stop in the woods, the other campers don't laugh at me ... THEN and ONLY THEN will I reverse the fishbone |
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If you made the 'slit' into a more interesting shape such as a star, crescent or square you might create a trend for deliberately and artistically shaped logs. |
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Yuck. No point, really, unless it
had the same type of elasticity as a
sphincter (which is massive) and
could be sealed close to....yuck. |
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This is quite revolting. The easiest
part would be putting this into
production. Hard = getting
someone to use it. |
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Where could I find it in the drug store? ... and if you say "the toy asile" I'm going to hurt you |
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//It actually wasn't too hard to put it on... // |
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No, but after I tried to rip it off, I bled for a week... |
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Perhaps you could sell this in 2-packs with a PeeCone, designed to avoid similar problems with the other voiding function? Newton's 4th law is now repealed. |
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