h a l f b a k e r yIf you need to ask, you can't afford it.
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Footwear, which attachment mechanism is controlled through an xPhone or similar.
Step into the wide open shoeholes with an ease to make loafers green with envy, then tap "Lace" on the app: the miniature machinery takes care of pulling the tongue into place and moving the upper flaps together until
a preset snugness is reached. Tap "Unlace" to reverse the process. All without having to bend over, sit down, or crouch at an uncomfortable angle while making funny noises just to handle the footwear.
Comes with a small crank-handle embedded in the sole, for manual operation in case of battery or electronics failure.
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Well, yeah but the mechanism tightens up until a specified snuggity is reached, not by circumference of the foot. |
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[+] The problem is that bending down to tie your
shoes helps you stay slightly flexible after a certain
age. |
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That machinery is bound to be intricate and fragile - you can do anything, but don't step on them. |
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I recommend kevlar-protected inflatable air-bladders
around the sides of the shoes instead. No complex
machinery needed, just a pump. Get the hugely
oversize version to walk on water. Boat shoes v2. |
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I just like the name. 10/10 would buy just to bring it
up in conversation. |
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^The credit for the title should go to [2fries] for an annotation in another post (Harmonica Dentures). |
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