h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Bibs for my kids are completely ineffectual and a total waste of time. Food that doesn't fall onto the shirt, ends up on the lap. Food that misses the lap ends up on the chair or the floor. The huge mess is caused by the unnecissary bib-tablecloth gap. What I want is a vinyl tablecloth with an edge that
has semicircular cutouts. These cutouts would then have tie-strings sewed permanantly in place. That way, I could push my kids right up to the table, lift the tablecloth edge and tie it behind their necks. Food would drop directly onto the bib/tablecloth combination and slide back onto the table where it can be conveniently wiped up.
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Just do what they do on those old black and white slapstick comedies, and tie the table cloth in place of the napkin. Just remember to do what they always forget to do in those slapstick comedies, and untie it before leaving the table. |
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I'd find this as useful as any child, since I'm somewhat prone to ungainly spilling (especially at formal occasions), but may I also suggest a well-placed cat or dog next to the spiller's chair which adeptly catches all dropped food in its mouth? |
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+ If you have 4 people in your family, you wouldn’t even need a table. Just put one person at each corner and put the food in the middle. Any food that misses the mouth will simply slid back to join the rest of the uneaten food. |
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So kinda like eating from a trough? ;-) |
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More like eating from a hammock. |
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Ah…but imagine a child’s joy when a swift yank causes the forehead of the sibling opposite to hit the table. |
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That fits neatly into our little half-Universe. |
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