h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Struggling for a stronghold on your smoky snack? Can't quite clench your cooking with just conventional utensils?
Get a grip on your grub with Bernoulli's Barbecue Tongs!
A metaphorical grip, of course - these tongs won't physically touch your tasty treats (improving hygiene at no extra cost).
By exploiting the controversial aerodynamics of Bernoulli's famous Levitating Ball, your morsels of meat can controllably take to the sky.
What's that, our marketing department predictably hears you decry? These magical tongs are unable to lift your ordinary foodstuffs from your ordinary barbecue grill? But Bernoulli's Barbecue Tongs are only compatible with the proprietary Bernoulli Barbecue!
Consuming kingly quantities of charcoal, sticking two fingers to the environment and resembling Sauron's own hairdryer, Bernoulli's Barbecue's blast of fire and smoke provides absolutely scorching entertainment to your soirée's sojourners as it levitates your entire larder whilst simultaneously "cooking" it!
The perfect gift. Available in bulk.
[link]
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//Consuming kingly quantities of charcoal, sticking two fingers to the
environment and resembling Sauron's own hairdryer, Bernoulli's
Barbecue's blast of fire and smoke provides absolutely scorching
entertainment // |
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Quality... have a somewhat scorched bun ... [+] |
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// The perfect gift. Available in bulk // |
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It just keeps getting better ... |
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mmmm... a steak tastes so much better with a light
dusting from a blast of potassium perchlorate |
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I… don't think this would work as expected. |
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Reminds me of a passage from an Asimov novel (“The End
of Eternity” if I'm not mistaken) where someone talks about
coming from an “energy era” and considering it gross to
handle food with matter prior to consuming it. |
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