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Bernoulli's Barbecue Tongs

Bafflement and Bodgery Begone!
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Struggling for a stronghold on your smoky snack? Can't quite clench your cooking with just conventional utensils?

Get a grip on your grub with Bernoulli's Barbecue Tongs!

A metaphorical grip, of course - these tongs won't physically touch your tasty treats (improving hygiene at no extra cost). By exploiting the controversial aerodynamics of Bernoulli's famous Levitating Ball, your morsels of meat can controllably take to the sky.

What's that, our marketing department predictably hears you decry? These magical tongs are unable to lift your ordinary foodstuffs from your ordinary barbecue grill? But Bernoulli's Barbecue Tongs are only compatible with the proprietary Bernoulli Barbecue!

Consuming kingly quantities of charcoal, sticking two fingers to the environment and resembling Sauron's own hairdryer, Bernoulli's Barbecue's blast of fire and smoke provides absolutely scorching entertainment to your soirée's sojourners as it levitates your entire larder whilst simultaneously "cooking" it!

The perfect gift. Available in bulk.

mitxela, Feb 18 2014

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       //Consuming kingly quantities of charcoal, sticking two fingers to the environment and resembling Sauron's own hairdryer, Bernoulli's Barbecue's blast of fire and smoke provides absolutely scorching entertainment //   

       Quality... have a somewhat scorched bun ... [+]   

       // The perfect gift. Available in bulk //   

       It just keeps getting better ...
8th of 7, Feb 18 2014
  

       mmmm... a steak tastes so much better with a light dusting from a blast of potassium perchlorate
EdwinBakery, Feb 23 2014
  

       I… don't think this would work as expected.   

       Reminds me of a passage from an Asimov novel (“The End of Eternity” if I'm not mistaken) where someone talks about coming from an “energy era” and considering it gross to handle food with matter prior to consuming it.
ytk, Feb 23 2014
  

       Bernoulli Voodoo! [+]
Zeuxis, Feb 25 2014
  
      
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