Dial-up BBQ

this is much like the "dial-a-smite" idea, but instead of killing people with a very high powered space laser, a lower powered laser should be used (intensity of about ten matches) for about thirty seconds. the device should be very heat resistant and could be placed into any fire to guide a beam from a sattelite mounted laser towards its exact position. the sattelite would be a giant solar collector/gps sattelite and would store the energy in a battery. each sattelite should have mulitple lasers (to service several people at once). this device may also be remote controlled and used to trick the neighbors (or anyone else gullible enough) into thinking that you have the ability to call on the immense power of god.