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I was trawling through the BOFH archives today and having a giggle when it occurred to me - some of this stuff would make a great movie.
For the uninitiated, the Bastard Operator from Hell is the guy who you ring up for tech support and - if you get through to him - will delete all of your files,
change your password and instruct you in how to fix your computer in such a way as to render it inoperative.
The BOFH and his encounters with lusers and beancounters, not to mention ill fated bosses would make for a sterling movie experience. An animated movie where the BOFH gets hired by the company that Dilbert works for would also be fun.
Bastard Operator from Hell archive
http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
[madradish, Jan 10 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Way off topic for lewisgirl
http://us.imdb.com/Name?Weaving,+Hugo
Hugo "Agent Smith" Weaving's resume [CoolerKing, Jan 10 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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I wonder if 80s computing subculture nostalgia actually has a mass market. If so I'll start work on the "Amusing Tales of Mesa Programming". |
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I'd have to disagree with [madradish]. Most of the stories are made up of telephone conversations and stuff typed into computers. It's not very cinematic. Maybe a radio play? |
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If the movie was about why the BOFH is a BOFH (maybe his fiancee left him at the altar and now he's all bitter), and then maybe there's a woman rings up, and he destroys her files, and she cries down the phone at him, and he feels guilty and they meet up and fall in love and he realises that now he's happy he no longer needs to make others' lives so miserable, and... no, I've run out of ways to make that sentence have incredibly bad grammar. |
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Of course, all that would make it incredibly cliched, and there's no way I'd go and see it. |
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I'd put John Cusack down for the lead role. |
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If you get John Cusack in it, you get my croissant.
<way off topic>Saw Priscilla Queen of the Desert last night - that guy, (Tick?), he's one of the scary ones in the Matrix, isn't he... and he's Lord Elrond! wow - a triumph of not getting typecast. </way off topic> |
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This strikes me as a bit like "High Fidelity" in a different setting. Cusack could do it ("Say Any Key"? "Pushing Bits"?) but I picture Jack Black reprising his role from the film. |
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The Hollyword version would have the Bastard Operator from Hell as a zany, friendly guy who would be played by Tom Hanks. When not challenged by his evil un-American boss, played by an Englishman, he would educate small, cute orphans in computer literacy and making sure he gets the girl. The only files he would delete would be because the orphans needed more disk space and the only account he would delete would be to stop his boss trying to steal his girl and make the orphans homeless. |
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How about "The Adventures of ABOFH", or the "AntiBastardOperatorFromHell". Stunning action sequences of the ABOFH actually answering the phone in 2 rings and replying to emails in less than 10 minutes with a complete breakdown of suggested remedial action to take. Be amazed as ABOFH wrestles with a user's machine, effecting a repair to 99.99% of problems. Be aghast as ABOFH appears at your desk within 5 minutes apologising for taking so long to present his physical presence to you before smiling and promising not to magically disappear without amending your particular mechanical or electronic ailement. Marvel as ABOFH.... god, I'm dreaming aren't I. If anyone made a film like that, noone would believe it could actually happen. Prob need to be an animated flick as well as any actor stupid enough to appear as ABOFH would attract a torent of bad publicity for spreading expectation among computer user's worldwide.... I dunno though, maybe Julie Andrews is innocuous enough to get away with it.... =) |
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I picture it as somewhere between 'Office Space' and 'Grumpy Old Men'. The problem with turning it into a movie would be that the BOFH has no nemesis, unless we invent an ABOFH. Then the movie becomes about the good guy, not the bad guy. Tom Hanks vs. John Cusack? |
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"I'm surprised StarChaser has not appended several paragraphs to this idea yet." |
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Been busy at work. You guys have been busy here, I see, all this in one day. |
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The BOFH is kind of out of my league, though; I'm just a phone monkey. |
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pottedstu: he manages to kill quite a lot of people in creative ways, I think the technical stuff would be over the heads of most of the public but the results would still be very funny. |
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Aristotle: NO - don't let Bollywood near it! |
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phoenix: contrariwise, the nemesis of the BOFH is anyone who is silly enough to phone him at any given time. |
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as for who should play the lead... I nominate Steve Buscemi (the ugly guy from Con Air) he's how I always pictured the BOFH. |
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AKA: Mr. Pink from Resivoir Dogs, or the guy that got put in the woodchipper in Fargo. |
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In addition to (l)users, the BOFH's nemesis list includes the manager that wants to get the BOFH fired. |
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they could do an indie type film on the bot wars that happened every now and then in the basement, or the bot 'war' that happened between the BOFH and PFY against the bot manufacture furry teeth. |
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or something like a junket gone wrong |
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there are alot of good areas for a movie just one single idea |
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it might be easier to make BOFH a sitcom. |
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Perhaps starring Sacha Baron Cohen. "There's a bug in some
Windows 7 builds. Do you have a flashlight? Now, shine it
through
the USB socket, and get your right eye
as close as you can to the CD slot. Do you see something
moving?" |
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Sounds like a natural for a "The IT Crowd" character. |
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