Welcome to the Sword of Damocles hospital...

As you can see in the operating theatre we have a wide range of swords, ranging from the minuscule ones for eye surgery to humongous ones for severing a limb in one go....all held by the slenderest of threads which our specialist team abrade with a low pressure sandblaster until they snap. So we won't keep you hanging around (strapped onto the gurney), no siree!

We're so convinced of the success of our treatments, we even take escrow payments, if you as a fit a flea in a year, we get paid, or even shares in your income, paid annually, you're healthy, we're earning...

And opening next year, our Procrustean Physiotherapy unit, for the bed bound.

We're hoping to get the NHS foundation trust status in the next round of evaluations. It's on a knife edge, just my little joke...
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 03 2012

Could this be combinated with an Iron Lady Liposuctor?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2012


//Could this be combinated with an Iron Lady Liposuctor?

Oh, that's in the East Wing, just follow the muffled screaming...
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 03 2012


Never bring floor board to a sword fight.
-- 4and20, Sep 03 2012


Is there any specific reason why all the theatre staff appear to be Cenobites?

Also, the uncanny resemblance between the company logo and a puzzle box is disquieting, plus most reputable* hospitals don't have "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE" scrawled in blood over the portico of the main entrance.

*Ysbity Glan Clwyd does, but being in wales they are reliant on pictograms daubed on the trilition that forms the entranceway to the "barrow". The blood is, however, human- and real. Most doctors bury their mistakes- at YGC they use them for exterior decor…
-- 8th of 7, Sep 03 2012


// most reputable* hospitals don't have "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE" scrawled in blood over the portico of the main entrance

But most honest ones should.

You only get the Cenobites on BUPA...NHS can't go that high. <he said remembering his student job cleaning in a hospital, I was told if you did the path lab, sometimes find fingers in the sink...lovely job>
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 03 2012


// You only get the Cenobites on BUPA //

[marked-for tagline] and possible legal action ...
-- 8th of 7, Sep 03 2012


Why does Damocles not rhyme with monocles?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2012


//Why does Damocles not rhyme with monocles?

Towards the bottom of this bottle of British cooking sherry, they rhyme.
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 04 2012



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