To promote herd immunity, regularly spreading disease amongst everyone in the population.

Standardize all public and private fixtures and fittings (notably doorknobs and light switches) to encourage people to readily swap switches from home with those found in public (train stations, businesses, etc.).

The units should 'quick release' but only when a similar unit is used to replace it. (i.e. the device used to replace a doorknob should would be the replacement doorknob - to prevent someone just being awkward and hiding all of the doorknobs and light switches.)

Inspired by Germicidal Door Knobs
-- Dub, Jan 07 2006

Germicidal Door Knobs Germicidal_20Door_20Knobs
[Dub, Jan 07 2006]

NOT These! http://www.moreinsp...vation.aspx?id=4236
[Dub, Sep 21 2009]

Turns-out they follow you when you move... http://phenomena.na...-with-our-microbes/
[Dub, Aug 28 2014]

Office Germs: Viruses Spread Everywhere in Just Hours, Study Shows http://www.livescie...spread-offices.html
[Dub, Sep 14 2014]

Chimps ... http://en.wikipedia...ps#The_Tipps_family
"In 1956 PG Tips began using anthropomorphic chimpanzees in their TV advertisements. " [8th of 7, Sep 14 2014]

how do you replace them without touching them?
-- po, Jan 07 2006


That's the point - you do touch them. Everyone to touch everything all of the time. Spread them germs!

But I wanted to avoid someone just stealing them and leaving buildings without light switches and door knobs - And the only way I could think of doing that was to force replacement using the replacement rather than removing one unit and then re-fitting another.
-- Dub, Jan 07 2006


What are those yellow and black rectangles with the shapes inside? I see them everywhere, everywhere! Do you hear me?
-- reensure, Jan 07 2006


you need the insertion of the new switch to unlock the old one and allow you to take it away.
-- WcW, Sep 21 2009


I think a lot of religions go in for [finger] ring-kissing and the sharing of little glasses of wine - that ought to do the trick.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 21 2009


//ring-kissing and the sharing of little glasses of wine - that ought to do the trick//

Do I need to go to some form of religious ceremony for the purposes of keeping my immune system busy? Is exposure to the occasional undergrad herd not enough??
-- bs0u0155, Aug 28 2014


The collective noun for undergrads is "sloth".
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 28 2014


Really? I've been using "plague".
-- bs0u0155, Aug 28 2014


And has it taken? There are so few vectors around these days.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 28 2014


actually, they're paying $35k a year here. I'd want to be called "sir" for that.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 28 2014


// The collective noun for undergrads is "sloth" //

Interestingly, the collective noun for sloths is a "bed", which would also be appropriate for undergraduates, and many other forms of student life.

However, the collective noun for new graduates is a "troupe", as in "a troupe of chimpanzees*".

*It is a well-known and much lamented fact that, initially, the great majority of male graduates in scientific and technical disciplines are just about capable of drinking tea <link>, but are incapable of making it without instructions. Written instructions. In large print. And being stood over the first 50 or so times while they make the tea, so that it's possible to administer the necessary Gibbs Slap to pre-empt them from (yet again) putting the milk in the mug with the tea bag before adding the boiling water**

It is even more lamented that although female graduates in scientific and technical disciplines are outstandingly, indeed fearsomely, competent in very nearly all*** aspects of day-to-day life, they are about as prevalent as rocking-horse shit.

**Despite the disgusting qualities of a beverage prepared in a mug using a paper bag of woodshavings and rust, it is necessary to start the training at a very basic level; the concept of the spoon can be introduced after six months or so. It is best to keep the teapot hidden for the first year, as premature confrontation with a vessel which has two distinct and separable components generally induces catatonia for several weeks.

***Including, but not limited to, changing wheels on motor vehicles and reprogramming recalcitrant ADSL2 routers, but (oddly) not including starting 4-stroke single cylinder lawnmowers. Very strange. Must be a bloke thing …
-- 8th of 7, Sep 14 2014



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