Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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tablet grinder

 for people who dislike or are unable to swallow tablets
 
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it looks remarkably like a peppermill, this is because you can sit it on your work surface in your kitchen and friends are not able to discern the fact that you are indeed a hypochondriac. the worst kind of hypochondriac, the type who cannot swallow pills.

keenly sharp grinders get to work on your tablets as you twist the top. you could shower your medication onto your cornflakes of steak and chips or into your beer – whatever. make sure you grind the whole dose for the sake of adequate efficaciousness.

—po, May 28 2003

Pill grinder http://www.neogen.com/8810.htm
For the animal in you, [po] [bristolz, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Won't this affect the working of the pill? I have been reliably informed that the drug would be absorbed quicker into the body... might this not be dangerous?
—MikeOliver, May 28 2003
   

       If you've got a mortar, I've got a pestle. But you were expecting that, shirley.
—phoenix, May 28 2003
   

       Keenly sharp? But wouldn't it be be a burr-type grinder? Where's your sense of quality, [po]?
—bristolz, May 28 2003
   

       if you expect me to say something rude to that phoe. you are quite right, just give me time to think of something.   

       whats that bris?
—po, May 28 2003
   

       Good way to defeat the time release on your Oxycodones!
—snarfyguy, May 28 2003
   

       good idear im sink of them dagnab pills going down sideaways
—tumblesone, May 28 2003
   

       Depends on the kind of pill. Some pills are designed with a sustained release capability and can't be cut/ground.   

       'Mortar and pestle' was my first thought, too.
—waugsqueke, May 28 2003
   

       I don't get it, waugsqueke. How can a pill be crush-proof?
—snarfyguy, May 28 2003
   

       No, I didn't say it was crush-proof. I meant it can't be crushed because if you crush it it's useless, you can't take it.   

       On sustained release tablets, the outer shell is designed to dissolve very slowly, but at one small point it dissolves through to the inside, where the dosage of medication is. It seeps through this small opening and releases a continuous low dose of medication over a long period of time. The outer shell eventually dissolves by the time the medication inside is delivered.   

       Crushing a tablet like this destroys the sustained release mechanism and delivers the full dose of medication in one shot. It can be dangerous.   

       This is exactly what people do with OxyContin, which is a sustained release pain killer narcotic. If you crush the pill and take it all at once, you get a heroin like high from it. No doubt those abusers of OxyContin would buy up a lot of po's device, here.
—waugsqueke, May 28 2003
   

       Ever ground a pill up and put it in something? Nasty.
—thumbwax, May 28 2003
   

       try Smash, thumb. you couldn't possibly make that taste worse.
—po, May 28 2003
   

       waugs: so it's not that you can't grind up such pills, just that if you do, what you destroy is only the time-release function, not the efficacy of the drug, oui?   

       I thought perhaps you were saying there was some way the pill could "know" it was being crushed, as opposed to dissolved in stomach acids, and would then somehow "neutralize" itself.
—snarfyguy, May 28 2003
   

       Well, potheads have had doohickeys like this for quite some time now. I don't see why pillheads shouldn't either.
—rapid transit, May 28 2003
   

       // what you destroy is only the time-release function, not the efficacy of the drug, oui? //   

       Well yes, but no. The drug still works, but it works a whole lot at once, instead of spread out over time. For an arthritis patient taking a crushed OxyContin, for example, yes, they will get pain relief. Byt they'll also get a head trip they weren't counting on.   

       In that sense I would say you destroy the efficacy as the drug was intended to function, yes.
—waugsqueke, May 28 2003
   

       My ma used to put two penicillin in a teaspoon, and crush them up with the back of another spoon. Then mix with honey for my tonsillitis. (Throat was too sore to swallow the whole pills.)   

       The wife's meds, though, I wouldn't want to crush. While she was in the hospital, a nurse improperly handled a capsule, and collapsed, unconscious and in convulsions, about ten minutes later. I believe that one is a case of absorption pathway - stomach/intestine is ok, skin/mouth/upper GI is bad news.
—lurch, May 28 2003
   

       I heard about that very recently re: tablets for cats. read the label, I guess.
—po, May 28 2003
   

       My mother used to do the same thing with aspirin (crush between two spoons and mix with honey) when I had chicken pox at the age of 7. To this day, I reflexively gag whenever I taste or smell honey due to the association with the extreme bitterness of the crushed aspirin.
—Freefall, May 28 2003
   

       Some medications come in pills where the soluble outer coating contains a gel. Crushing those would get messy.
—saker, May 29 2003
   

       //The wife's meds, though, I wouldn't want to crush. While she was in the hospital, a nurse improperly handled a capsule, and collapsed, unconscious and in convulsions, about ten minutes later.//
What kind of medication? Can it be spread on cheques?
—thumbwax, May 29 2003
   

       I hope so :)
—po, May 29 2003
   

       Does this type of people (that can't swallow tablets) really exist? I understand that's why there are medicine syrups.
—Pericles, May 29 2003
   

       They do sell pill crushers, although not in the form of a pepper shaker. I would think vets would get good use out of these.   

       As for effectiveness, most medication is simply immediate release, so crushing them wouldn't adversely affect the result (although they would be absorbed quicker). You should definitely check with your doctor, as crushing up an OxyContin could very easily kill a non-tolerant patient.
—latka, May 29 2003
   

       baked
—doctorterron, May 30 2003
   

       and...
—po, May 30 2003
   
      
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