h a l f b a k e r yEureka! Keeping naked people off the streets since 1999.
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In addition to boring, standardized athletic events, the Olympics should include a street fighting event. The opportunities for cultural expression are obvious (Yakuza v. Mafia in the finals), as are the potential for pay-per-view revenues.
However, by building national pride around criminal institutions,
it should lower crime by distracting gangs from preying on citizens to year-round training for competition. A rule against firearm usage should also remove the glamour from shootings, and put it back into good old-fashioned knifings, beatings, and strangling.
The dangerousness of the teams should also discourage any point-shaving or other gambling related tampering.
Any proposals for team names?
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Annotation:
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Provided enough people find the time to provide this idea with the requisite attention, you may need to come up with olympic events that involve large quantities of fishbones, for you are about to have a lot of them. |
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I can see one positive thing in this. You would be able to assemble large quantities of villians in a relatively small area. Easy pickins. |
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<pedant> Street crime is the preserve of the tracksuit-sporting young boy or girl who has nothing better to do than hang about outside pubs and smash up glass bus shelters. The Mafia and the Yakuza are powerful international criminal organisations who, they argue, spend time making the streets safer by getting rid of these young oiks. </pedant> |
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Glasgow (my current home) had a justified reputation for razor gangs. In fact, my uncle was slashed - for no reason - while walking down the street. People were killed by these gangs. It has taken the city many years to step out of the shadow of this damaging and (now) inaccurate reputation. No city would want such an association, so this'll never work. |
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I have a whole load of other objections to this idea but I have a finite lifespan so I won't detail them. Make do with this fishbone. |
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Baked in the movie "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka." |
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the good thing about this is you could legally let the stupid people hell bent on violence to kill off each other...and quickly too. but is that really a good thing in itself?? hmmmmmm. well, fishboned anyways. |
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