Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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smileator

implants that allows you to smile longer
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provide electical current to the muscles controling the mouth so that you can smile longer in social situations.
monty, Sep 17 2000

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       This would also make a great party trick- like Eddie Murphy did to Morgan Fairchild in the movie "Holy Man".
BigThor, Oct 12 2000
  

       Would it come with white face-paint and green hair dye?
StarChaser, Oct 12 2000
  

       Two additional applications:   

       - There are illnesses that inhibit facial expressions. This is terrible particularly for children who have a hard time socializing with their peers as a result. Nerve transplants have been used to give some of the sufferers a way of deliberately triggering a smile; this would be an alternative.   

       - There's the notion that exercising muscles involved in smiles actually makes people feel better. (I have no idea whether this is scientifically true; but even if it's just a pleasant lie, it might motivate people to buy something.) Smileators would therefore be a "natural", safe alternative to antidepressants.
jutta, Oct 12 2000
  

       <grin> I was wondering if anyone would get that...The Joker has green hair and white face.   

       No, the Batman movie didn't have a machine, it had a type of poison gas.   

       One of the Halloween Simpsons episodes had hooks that would make you smile, though...
StarChaser, Oct 15 2000
  

       i alwasy thought is was best to let people know how you really feel. if you are faking a smile for for the plastic people, who is better off?
celizafinn, Oct 16 2000
  

       I have a low thyroid, and one of the symptoms is diminished facial expressiveness. For years and years people would comment on how "cool" I was, or assumed I was a junky... Your idea has merit, let me tell you!
DragonMother, Dec 20 2000
  

       This is a good idea. I could have used a temporary one of these on my wedding day, but a politician could put a permanent one to good use on the campaign trail and beyond!
human411, Aug 05 2001
  

       You ever tried to smile for four hours straight?
StarChaser, Aug 05 2001
  

       Real smiles are produced by different muscles, controlled by different nerves, than fake ("social") smiles. The muscles used in real, spontaneous, smiles cannot be voluntarily activated. Even those accomplished at faking emotions (e.g., actors) appear to invoke the emotion, not the expression, voluntarily (the so-called “Method” Acting); the expression follows the emotion, and is not directly evoked.
  

       The fake smile “uses just the /zygomatic major/ muscle and hence animates only the mouth. The /orbicularis oculi/, the cheek puller, lies still….” (McNeil, D., /The Face: A Natural History/, p.249)
  

       There appear to be good evolutionary reasons for this: signals that can be faked are inherently less reliable than signals that directly report on the signaler's state of mind or body (This is a slight misreading of Zahavi, A., & A. Zahavi, /The Handicap Principle/, 1997 as the Zahavis emphasize that the signal should be costly to the signaler, the signal’s cost vouching for its veracity). Nevertheless, “[s]ince few can exploit it, the face code is believable” (McNeil, p.182).
protean, Aug 06 2001
  

       Far cheaper solution.. just stuff a coathanger in your mouth...
DaveSt, Aug 25 2001
  

       going through all the above annos, <DaveSt>'s coat hanger made me smile the most (:D
greywolf, Oct 28 2002
  

       Mask application: Great idea! Especially the anti-depressant angle. Might look a little strange on the subway... Always wondered if by somehow using a computer-controlled collar of some kind that accessed twitched and/or pulled ALL the facial muscles, you might be able to subtly and temporarily make radical change to someone's facial appearance--in effect use their muscles + something like a smiletor to create an electronic mask. Or several different masks...I think I know people who don't actually need this device, come to think of it--they get by on their character...
cloudface, Aug 10 2003
  

       Russell Crowe needs this. From the movies I've seen him in (maybe three or four), I've deduced that he is unable to smile. Poor man!
snarfyguy, Aug 10 2003
  

       Speaking of actors, a sophisticated version of this, that is, something that has "recorded" facial expressions, might be used by actors in a dramatic setting... You know, like it reads in the program of the Broadway show, "Pre-recorded dramatic emotional tracks laid down by Nic Cage for Mr. Crowe." I think something like this that can access all facial muscles and stimulate them would also be very useful as a communications device and as a way to learn FACS. I suspect you might want a part that contacts the neck to stimulate ligature there and another bit that goes into the mouth, like a bridge, that has better access to the facial muscles around the mouth and eyes. If the two parts were electronically linked this might provide harmonious twitching. On the other hand all that RF bouncing around your skull would likely kill ya. Still, the possibilities, theraputic, dramatic, for purposes of disguise, new electronic medium, educational (learning facial action coding system, god-knows what else) seem broad-based. But is it possible? And will there be porn immediately?
cloudface, Aug 12 2003
  

       [snarfyguy] Russell should look no further than Tom Cruise, who has been using the device for many years now. I believe he has also been supplying it to Miss World contestants for some time...
fergdeff, Aug 13 2003
  
      
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