pottyline.app

The pottyline app from The Crappist Crypt people is a cellphone app that only works when you are seated on the porcelain throne doing your business. Sensing your intention and posture, the app randomly calls someone else with the app who is, at that exact moment, engaged identically at some unknown location. (If your call should be answered by someone in the same bathroom you are required to have mandatory IRL communication, no matter how uncomfortably. Same for the reverse.)

Once the app is activated it runs transparently in the background, with no database other that the cloud of unattributed, randomly accessed cellphone numbers of determined defecators. Studies have shown that language is not a barrier in pottyline interactions. There seems to be a universal excretory language.

A degree of intimacy can be achieved with a total stranger that would damage the brains of many close associates. It's a second level of relief to know you'll never interact with your companion crapper again, but you both had a human moment of connection and fellowship.

We are so rushed these days we never get to slow down and "smell the roses." This will have to do until the real thing comes along.