h a l f b a k e r y"More like a cross between an onion, a golf ball, and a roman multi-tiered arched aquaduct."
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As an aid to those afflicted by constipation, this new BorgCo product allows a one-off investment to take the place of multiple purchases of expensive laxatives.
Enter the cubicle, assume the position, adjust the G-setting, and press Start. Remember to grip the Dead Man's Handle - if you release it,
the power is shut off.
The cubicle, on its gimballed frame, is spun up progressively to the desired level of gravitational force, assisting in the ejection of waste without the need for straining.
0-Gee Toilet
0-Gee_20Toilet
Similar Idea, though different in terms of applied forces. [Vernon, Jan 23 2017]
Alternate solution
https://www.youtube...watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
Logically, it should at least reduce constipation events. [Vernon, Jan 23 2017]
[link]
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I wish I'd thought of that. |
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Hopefully the settings for "cures extreme constipation" and "causes full body prolapse" aren't too close together. |
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// the settings for "cures extreme constipation" and "causes full body prolapse" aren't too close together. // |
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That's specific to the individual user, and has to be determined experimentally. |
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"To the janitor : Please clean up the blood and mess - especially on the walls. We will be testing it on new volunteers Thursday. Better leave the windows open so things can air out a bit." |
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That might be considered unduly pessimistic, [pop] .... |
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It should (I think) be possible to alleviate constipation simply by placing a fairly-high-pressure but (and this is important) low flow-rate airhose down the oesophagus. Given that the entire gastrointestinal tract is somewhat elastic, it ought to distend around any obstruction to let the air pass through. |
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In theory, it should be possible to blow the system clean from the other end instead, but this is likely to be even more unpleasant than having a hose stuck down your oesophagus. |
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What about a device to inject oil ''round the sides? |
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A nice big bowl of mercury taken beforehand would help this.. |
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//What about a device to inject oil ''round the sides?// I think air would be more entertaining. A skilled proctologist ought to be able to get a tune out of it. |
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Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside. |
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// A skilled proctologist ought to be able to get a tune out of it. // |
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And what might an unskilled proctologist get out of it ...? |
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I am curious where the axis of rotation is? Somewhere midbody or just above the head? If above the head the user might need those MAST trousers to reduce the chance of blacking out. Given the circumstances these would be MAST trousers with a button up back flap. |
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Yes, it's above the head. So yes, there's a risk of blacking out, hence the Dead Man's Handle. |
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