h a l f b a k e r yYou could have thought of that.
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This would necessitate the development of an internationally
standardized noodle. [+] |
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You would need a really really tall pot to cook that
noodle too and hopefully not break it in the process. |
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Not necessarily. 12" spaghetti can be cooked in 3" of water. |
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But, welcome to the Halfbakery, [WITAAW] |
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A hand gesture would indicate the actual length of noodle as the
winner rose from the table, calling "So long, suckers!" |
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This just gets better, the more I think about it. [+] |
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This competition naturally lends itself to different categories for those
of different skill levels. |
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Can noodles be produced by an on-site just-in-time continuous extrusion process ? |
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If so, this is the killer application for the technology. |
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...and if they can, at what velocities? |
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The noodle production speed needs to be matched to the consumption speed. |
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A "U" of noodle, like the take-up loop in front of a film projector gate, would be needed, the slack in the noodle being sensed optically. |
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Given a sufficiently large data set on rate of intake vs. time, it should be quite easy to predict the "Mr. Creosote" point where fat, greedy carbohydrate addicts literally explode. |
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//The noodle production speed needs to be matched to the
consumption speed.// |
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I'm thinking of this being a bit like Formula 1, except slightly more
antagonistic. |
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The eaters compete on who can swallow noodles the fastest, and
the makers compete on whose noodle production machine can run
at the fastest speed. |
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If the makers are allowed to outpace the eaters, surely that makes
for much better television? |
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Indeed. We look forward with anticipatory glee to the spectacle of on-camera abdominal ruptures. |
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Just out of interest, [8th], when was the last time your "freude"
was *not* of the "schaden" variety? |
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// when was the last time your "freude" was *not* of the "schaden" variety? // |
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19 May this year; the night before the Royal Wedding we beamed down into the stables at Windsor Castle and added a massive portion of ground legumes to the horse feed. |
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You can see Harry and Meghan smiling bravely through the stench ... |
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There is a set of road works the progress of which we have been monitoring closely ... when they arrive outside a certain cat's home, we intend to purloin their road-roller, and run amok ... |
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Any day now. Remember, you heard it here first. |
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If the noodle from the extrusion machine makes a U dip into
a bowl of broth you could cunningly steer it to go through
the oil to slurp faster. Also, people with bigger cheeks might
win because they could produce more volume of negative
pressure. |
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Actually it's more often a sort of BLEURRRRGHHHHH ...HURRRK ... Urrrgh ... HERURRRGGGH .... hukkkkrrr .... and unpleasant noises to that effect. |
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With you there. There is a television programme (from the
US, I believe) called something like "Man versus Food", in
which someone tries to eat a grossly oversized portion of
crap. It is gross. |
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On a cheerier note, there is a chain of eateries in Malaysia
called Nööödle. How can anyone not like three o's and three
umlauts? |
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And on another cheery note, global annual consumption of
noodle is approximately 1 trillion metres. This could be
supplied by a single noodle extruder extruding noodle at
71,347
mph. If the machine were pointed towards Alpha Centauri,
the noodle-bridge would reach its destination in about 1300
years. |
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