Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.

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haunted door de-creepanoyer

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Do you have a door in your home that closes on its own and squeels a freightening squeel that has you convinced that your house is haunted?

This is an electronic noisemaker with an accelorameter and a micrphone. Squeel and motion trigger this device that emits loud noises of flatulence. Big Big Fart noises to take the edge off and deactivate anxiety of the supernatural.

User can set the flavor of fart sounds with three settings Wet sounding, Dry sounding and A Random Mix User can specify fart duration, tenor and magnitude.

Naturally the device audio will need to be able to broadcast some subsonic bass for those people that believe that demon or ghost farting should be experienced with chest, window and nick nack vibration.

vfrackis, Feb 10 2014

[link]






       I like this as a story premise. It turns out the door really is haunted.
bungston, Feb 10 2014
  

       ^ haw [+]
FlyingToaster, Feb 10 2014
  

       aaahhhhhhhhhaaaa bralllffffsssst
popbottle, Feb 11 2014
  

       Well, this will only serve to throw you off your guard for when you're actually being stalked by a flatulent psychopathic killer.   

       Come to think of it, there might even be a movie plot in there.   

       Gasbag: He who smelt it… never saw it coming.
ytk, Feb 11 2014
  
      
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