h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Dog Water-proofing Spray.
The Japanese have a tendency towards dog-matism.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in their treatment of
pets. Taking your dog out for its daily ablutions? Outside
equals 'coat putting on time.'
As a consequence, especially in the rainy season, the
average
mutt walks the street bedecked with a sodden
piece of cloth for no obvious reason. On return the owner
immediately places this sodden mess in the washing
machine, thereby not only wasting a whole array of
natural resources but also flushing environmentally
unfriendly detergent into the local rice fields.
The obvious solution is similar to the waterproofing sprays
typically used on suede
shoes and rain coats. The dogs natural canine
impermeability is reinforced by a quick spray once a week
and the owner can be rest assured that her 'best friend' can
poo in peace. We look forward to the revised expression
'like water off a dog's back.'
Cheers,
Buri
water proof ducks
http://www.howitwor...eathers-waterproof/
[po, Aug 02 2013]
[link]
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Welcome to the HB, [Buri]! |
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When I was a kid, we had two american eskimos. These are like huskys, only smaller, 25 pounds or so, pure white, fluffy. |
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One of them always got dirty-looking very quickly. 2 weeks and she needed a bath. The other could go months. He cleaned himself like a cat. I was the designated dog cleaner. |
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One day I saw an old can of scotch-guard and thought I would try it on dirty dog after a bath. But how would I know if it worked, or if the dog was merely not in the dirt much? |
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I waited for the dog to dry, and then sprayed the left side of the dog heavily with scotch guard. |
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It seemed to have no effect on the dirt, and the dog survived. |
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You'd have to give the dog a buzz cut first. |
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//unfriendly detergent into the local rice fields |
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But very clean rice in the tambo. |
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shouldn't it be - water off a duck's back as they are naturally water repellent! hello [Buri] - oops I think I misread the idea! |
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Uh,//revised expression// |
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Just encase canine in amber. |
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Don't they have plastic raincoats for dogs? You could just call it... a
doggy bag. |
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Greetings,
I accept there is a good case for encasing the dog
in amber. For example, were one to find oneself
in the midst of an ancient chinese festival one
could court popularity not only by setting fire to
it so the distinctive fragrance is released for all to
enjoy. But also cooking the dog which is, I
believe a popular source of nourishment at
chinese festivals to this day.
There is a safety factor involved here, too. Were
one to utilize the rarest Dominican blue amber
which turns blue in natural sunlight and any other
partially or wholly ultraviolet light source one
would be more visible to traffic. Particularly in
long-wave UV light it has a very strong reflection,
almost white.
Cheers,
buri |
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This idea is Half Baked for sure! |
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// Outside equals 'coat putting on time.' As a consequence, especially in the rainy season, the average mutt walks the street bedecked with a sodden piece of cloth for no obvious reason. // |
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Fascinating. A minimal amount of practical research indicates that dogs are (for a statistically significant sample of two dogs) by and large entirely waterproof, and indeed buoyant. A literature search futher tends to show that a "dog" that is not entirely waterproof and indeed buoyant is either (a) not a dog at all, or (b) has a really, really serious problem. |
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Notably, many breeds of dog (specifically Spaniels) have been carefully bred over many decades to select for the character trait of "being too dumb to come in out of the rain". |
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On this basis, the whole dog-coat thing will just have to be ascribed to Generalised Japanese Weidness Syndrome, like Cosplay. Manga, Pachinko and the baggage handling system at Narita airport. |
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Greetings,
a dog that is not waterproof may just be a poodle.
BTW The sign outside the the food markets in
question was probably something to do with the sex
industry. |
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A few dabs of Rentishams, massaged into the fur,
will make even the most absorbent dog waterproof
and, consequently, quite bouyant. This was used to
great advantage by the Derbyshire Coastal Rescue
Service, who from 1877 to 1915 used waxed and
trained labradors to come to the assistance of
swimmers in difficulty. |
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Oh ! so Rentisham's was the infamous "dolphin wax" of the turn of the (previous) century ? The exact nature of the "holy grail" of surfing wax has been eluding them for over 70 years. |
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Of course that would also explain why Charles "Skip" Letterford, Grand National Champ 1935-1941('42?) was eaten by what was described as "a medium sized herd" of sharks during a practice run. |
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You should really label the containers more carefully. |
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Not quite. Boffo Rentisham went on a four-year
fact-finding mission to California to study their
waxing practices, in the hopes of further
improving Rentisham's durability in saltwater. He
returned tanned but dissapointed, reporting that
their surfing waxes were little better than
common poulting grease. |
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He was, however, much taken with their cars and
with their custom of driving on the right, a habit
which he has maintained ever since. |
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I tend to the read the title as "dog-waterboarding" which seems a trifle unkind. |
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As for "used waxed and trained labradors", if that's a Brazilian, then no photos please. |
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Rentisham's does not, never has, and never will,
stoop. |
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Maxwell,
although it is widely assumed that the Derbyshire
Coastal Rescue Service Dog Division was phased
out in 1915 when the dogs in question found they
could earn more appearing on Blue Peter, in
actuality a skeleton service was maintained. This
can be found at the Queen's Leisure Centre in
Derby, where they zealously watch over the many
participants in that location`s notorious Aqua
Zumba program.
If you are not familiar with this form of activity I
can assure you that gives new meaning to the idea
of an invigorating workout.
In fact, according to the ex-members of the NSA
now enjoying political asylum in Derbyshire,
`The Aqua Zumba class blends the Zumba
philosophy and traditional aqua fitness together
into a safe, challenging, water-based workout
that's toning, good for your heart and lungs, and
exhilarating.`
Unfortunately, the Zumba philosophy is based
largely on the idea that enlightenment can only
be achieved by holding your breathe underwater
for at least 57 minutes.
The dedicated, waterproofed canines of
Derbyshire have pulled countless numbers of
these corpses from the water before it starts to
smell bad. Yet another example of unheralded
yet faithful public service.
Cheers,
Buri |
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Breaking news:
a spokesperson for the Derby Zumba Association has
angrily denied the widely acknowledged figure of
10,000 corpses retrieved, stating that `this is not
the
Nanking Massacre.` He went on to accuse the Dog
Division of being `a bunch of woofters.` |
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//in actuality a skeleton service was
maintained...pulled countless numbers of these
corpses from the water// |
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