Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fakercise (Pet Version)

Bring the Outside, Inside!
 
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**I've yet to see a 1/2B consensus on the feasiblity of neural shunts (see Matrix for easy reference), thus I appologize for the "WIBNI concept" appearance of the idea**

Your pet deserves the very best. But is inclimate weather causing you to curtail Fido's walkies? Is cabin fever causing Mittens to have kittens?

Introducing Fakercise, a new way to provide supplemental exercise for pets. Fakercise allows your pet to experience a VR world created just for them. A slight augmention surgery (provided at the local vet) to install a neural shunt port is all you need to get started, providing access to whatever environment your heart desires.

And it's easy as 1,2,3! Simply strap Fluffy or Bowser (one at a time, of couse!) to the padded table, insert the shunt, and load the program. Choose from over 4 dozen simulated and artificially-created worlds: Butterfly Bonanza, Meat Lovers Plaza, Grassy Knoll, and many more.

True, this product can not take the place of RL exercise and should never be used to replace the benefits of such. But you can be sure that the VR experience will mentally tire your pet just as accurately as the real thing. No more will Fluffy feel the need to use the bedroom hallway as a midnight dragstrip.

And coming this year is Fakercise Deluxe. Want to join your pet in their personal getaway? With Fakercise Deluxe, you can! The deluxe version features over 30 new programmed destinations, all of which are exact replications of hot spots in the real world. If you've ever wanted to walk Spot down Malibu beach, now you can!

<Small print> Pet catheter sold seperately </small print>

Lucky_Setzer, Jan 11 2002

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       Croissant for Grassy Knoll
thumbwax, Jan 11 2002
  

       Boned for 'Let's rebuild our pet with technology that doesn't exist'.
StarChaser, Jan 12 2002
  
      
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