h a l f b a k e r yBunned. James Bunned.
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Since FCC isn't going to allow cell phones on the plane, a simple device can help.
Have you noticed that the persons who like to talk over the cell phone a lot, usually _tell_ something, i.e. they produce a monologue. And you don't really need a _tele_phone for a monologue, right? The only time the
_tele_phone function is used is at the opening stage: "OMG I gotta tell you about..." and in the end: "Oops, these rude people are staring at me, talk to you later". Between these phrases there is virtually uninterrupted stream of words, so one doesn't actually need a working phone for this kind of "conversation".
So, there could be a "stand-alone" cell phone that looks like a phone, with a microphone and all. But, it isn't connected to any network, so there's no interference with the in-flight systems (and no bills to pay, so it can be used on the ground, too!). Instead, there's a voice-synthesizing system which once in a while says, "Uh-huh", or "Really?!", or "Tell me more!" and so on. Deluxe models could also have speech-recognition system, so when the user says, "Know what I'm sayin'?", the talkbox would answer, "Yeah, totally", or something like that.
It could be marketed as "Confidebot" or "Supportive Jenny" -- this needs more thinking. Just check your regular cell phone with a flight attendant, show her that you're going to use the Supportive Jenny and talk on the phone like you normally do, all flight long!
(?) Phones on planes...
http://www.sita.aer...th_GSM_on-board.htm
[Jinbish, Mar 23 2007]
FCC considering mobile phones on planes
http://www.fcc.gov/...s/cellonplanes.html
[Jinbish, Mar 23 2007]
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Annotation:
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I like the idea of having a handset that's not connected to any network... |
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"Hello. Mom? Can you here me? That's strange, there's no signal, yet that girl across the way has been talking rubbish for the past 45 minutes..." |
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"Yeah, like totally, ... Whatever..." |
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People needing feedback to bogus calls need a different kind of help ... |
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//Have you noticed that the persons who like to talk over the cell phone a lot, usually _tell_ something// |
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This statement has to be false - for every person delivering a monologue, there has to be someone else receiving it - granted some of these people will be using a land-line - but there will be a significant proportion of mobile phone users who predominantly live on the "Uh huh" side of the fence. |
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How are you going to cater for these people? Who will they be able to go "Uh huh" to after this idea is implemented? Imagine, the millions of people wandering about with nobody to nod at and go "Oh yeah" anymore. The consequences would be quite severe - have you thought about that? Almost certain collapse of civilisation would of course ensue. |
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I suggest you take this back to the drawing board. |
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//for every person delivering a monologue, there has to be someone else receiving it// Cell phones are somtimes used for virtual degradation ceremonies, wherein one publicly rips a subordinate over a cell phone which is *not* connected or even turned on. |
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The cell phone signals might not have an effect on flight systems, but cleaning the blood out of the carpet between flights might increase turnaround times. |
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>Who will they be able to go "Uh huh" to after this idea is implemented? |
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Hmm, you have a point.
But I'm sure it won't be too hard to come up with a monologue generator that will stop once in a while until you say "Uh huh" or "Tell me about it". |
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Actually, the devices should come in pairs! Thus you're not going to betray your friend by replacing his "uh huh"'s with the soulless machine! The friend gets the corresponding device into which he could beg to tell more. So it's going to be life as usual, but without potential interference, without risk of head cancer, without any bills to pay and even if any of the friends is _really_ busy, the other will be able to indulge in conversation. |
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Well don't some planes have phones built into the back of the seat? I haven't seen many of those but I've seen them before. If they became more wide-spread, though.... |
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Dr Seuss: "Oh No. I cannot hear your call, I cannot hear your call at all. This is not good, and I know why. A mouse has cut the wire, goodbye." |
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Maybe you could simulate a less one-sided conversation by simulating fake foreign language conversation on your fake phone. |
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//this needs more thinking// [marked-for-tagline] |
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// FCC isn't going to allow cell phones on the plane, // |
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Maybe not, but that myth is well and truly Busted. |
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No rational person would fly on an aircraft which could be affected by the radiation from a cellular phone. |
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Civil aircraft are packed with RF sources, from the IFF transponder and the weather radar to the basic R/T. And they get hit by lightning, too. |
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Does a cellular phone in your vehicle affect your GPS ? We think not. |
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Does a cellular phone "in-call" affect ADF, VOR, or the magnetic compass ? No, it does not. This has been exhaustively tested. |
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The Government is lying to you. |
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