h a l f b a k e r yNeural Knotwork
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I noticed gas pump nozzles for sale In an auto
supply catalog.
And suddenly I wished I could have my very own
Authentic gas pump
nozzle cigarette lighter.
Mechanically it could contain 10x more the
amount of butane That a
normal lighter could.
I would carry mine in a holster especially
made for
it.
This would make a great transition product for the
22nd century.
manufacturers of fuel pump nozzles could
continue to manufacture their
products even though there was no longer
demand for liquid fuel
pump nozzles.
If I were a smoker I couldn't think of a better way
to impress people at
a social event. I would smoke a pipe and I would
lite it with an
authentic fuel nozzle lighter.
[link]
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This is a great idea. I wonder if you would leave it grease-stained and have a foot or so of butyl rubber hanging off the back, as though you had liberated it yourself with a box cutter earlier in the evening? |
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Or maybe you would prefer a gleaming chrome art-deco pump handle, tarnished only by rainbow-colored oxidation at the spout? |
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Could it separated from you at a force of no greater than 300 pounds ? (I was looking at the drive-off breakaway system last night while filling up) |
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Pump nozzles can be found in many catalogs, and I've got
one I found beside a dumpster somewhere. The trick would
lie in modifying it to hold a reservoir and ignitor. The guts
of the nozzle are pretty much just a pipe and a
complicated cut-off
valve. |
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//I couldn't think of a better way to impress people
at a social event.// |
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How about hang-gliding in, buck naked and playing a
souzaphone? |
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Aww, now I'm picking bits of roast turkey off of my iPad. I
need to stop coming here when I'm eating. |
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// How about hang-gliding in, buck naked and playing a souzaphone? // |
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Undeniably effective, but you do realise you're never, ever going to be invited to another Royal Garden Party at Buckingham Palace ? You were very fortunate that the D. of E. was a bit sozzled and couldn't move fast, if he'd managed to get his 12-bore while you were still airborne the Souzaphone could have been seriously damaged. |
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Yes, but it did win me a bet with the intercalary. |
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Was the bet about spelling? |
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Only indirectly. It had more to do with correctly
predicting how a corgi would react to the sudden
appearance of a naked hang-gliding souzophonist. |
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5:2 odds of it violently exploding in a shower of red fur and
urine (if it's male, that is). |
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You mean... Shirley, it didn't... |
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No, it didn't, which is why I won the bet. |
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[MB] now knows what the corgis really are. |
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<gasp> Then it _is_ true! |
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It might have been a stunt corgi, substituted at the last moment as your hosts suspecting your naked hang-gliding souzaphone antic. |
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But surely the souzaphone would have been better used with an igniter and a propane tank to give extra boost? |
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Tricky, with that cut-off valve in there. |
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