h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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Listening to a couple in an adjoining room going at it full-tilt can be a bit wearing if you're trying to get some shuteye; likewise *being* that couple: you may feel obligated to modulate your shouts of "THE BADGER ! DO THE RANDY BADGER !" at 3am (or not).
The Sounds of the Jungle Sex Noise-Masking
Device takes those noises, measures the frequency/duration, etc. and blends them artistically into a dynamic kaleidoscope of jungle noises, realtime. For example, the bed thumping against the wall is mixed and morphed seamlessly into a tribal drumbeat cadence.
Can be emplaced on either side of the wall or ceiling.
The right to have loud sex?
http://www.theweek....ht_to_have_loud_sex
A sampler of a UK "too loud sex" story. These people where producing a very high DB while procreating.. [Aristotle, Nov 23 2009]
Nymphomatriarch
http://en.wikipedia...iki/Nymphomatriarch
Sex album by Venetain Snares & Hecate [pantamonkey, Nov 23 2009]
[link]
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Save you doing them yourself too! + |
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My wife went to Prague last weekend, and the couple in the room next door were going at it hammer and tongs for about an hour, with the female screaming extremely loudly in an ecstatic manner. Suddenly, there was a loud slap, and the woman fell silent. |
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It was apparently much funnier if you were there at the time. |
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I'm not saying I condone wife-beating, by the way. I like to think that it was more of a bottom-spank. |
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+ includes vine-swinging ---WHEEEEE |
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Never a problem at our home. It's all over after a minute or two. |
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I feel like this can be part of a series of noise-masking
devices/cds. [+] for "Sounds of the Jungle". |
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And across the curtains, surely? |
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Aaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh Ay Ay-oh Whim-a-way... |
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loud enough and the device defaults to "trumpeting elephant stampede", unpredictable enough and you get "wild monkey orgy". § x1 |
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"I feel like this can be part of a series of noise-masking devices/cds" |
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But corresponding to expected use for any one machine. In this case, packing a device along for frequent hotel stays. Say... if you were a travelling hit man for the Russian mafia you might switch modes on your "sounds of the jungle" sex noise masking device to "sounds of musical theater" horrific brutality masking device. |
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"Oh god. NO. Please. I promise. Please. OH god! No. What are you...? AAAAAAAAGGGGGh." ...might be "blended artistically into a dynamic kaleidoscope" of classically entertaining scores from The Sound of Music, or West Side Story. |
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Or, I don't know, maybe Sweeny Todd or Little Shop of Horrors would be more in line with the FlyingToaster's original concept. But Sound of Music or Mary Poppins would just be so much more fun. |
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I thank you to leave my badger out of this. |
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It would have to cope with both very loud and very
subtle noises. I find even the most discrete series of
nearby gasps can tear me from my slumber. |
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And I'd prefer white noise to Westside Story any day
of the week ... [] |
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Had a similar experience to jtp, but in Japan. The worst bit was that I had been kept awake by a friend's snoring for a couple of hours beforehand and they had, at last, and after a final spectacular grunt, shut the fuck up when the couple next door started banging and howling away. It was almost like they had planned it. Some nights, becoming an axe murderer seems like a really easy career choice!
I'd vote plus for almost any idea that addressed this phenomenon, so have a bun Mr Toaster. |
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"...after a final spectacular grunt..." |
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"I'll, uh, have what he's having." |
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A joint project between Venetian Snares and Hecate- |
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"The two breakcore artists sampled various sexual activities performed with one another while they were touring Europe, and only these samples were used to construct the album." |
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I have always wondered if the idea of the sex or the album came first, using recording an album to have sex is a novel idea. |
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better idea: the jungle noise sex masker. it is a device that, when you find yourself alone in a jungle late at night, it plays back that incredible boot-knocking performance that Unabubba heard his neighbors performing and was oh-so-unappreciative of. |
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