h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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Zombie Paintball Equipment
A vest featuring a rip-outable heart for the living, full zombie motif face mask and helmet for the un-dead | |
Problem with zombie paintball is it's too one sided. In
real
life, you need to shoot the zombie in the head to stop it,
but it gets to rip our your heart if it ducks, surprises you,
swarms with his buddies etc.
This evens the playing field for both sides. The zombie
helmet/facemask features
a target band that must be hit
for it to constitute a solid headshot. It's made up to look
like a zombie of course. The humans wear a vest that
has a
compartment in the front and one in back that contains a
rubber heart, attached with velcro that can be ripped
out.
Of course the rules are simple. Once you get your heart
ripped out, you put on the zombie outfit and join the
undead whose ranks grow with every kill.
This gives the zombies something to fight for instead of
just being targets for the living, and as in real life, no
guarantees that there'll be any survivors.
I like the idea of a heart in the back of the vest as well
as the front. You can be sitting there thinking you're all
badass when a zombie sneaks up behind you, you hear a
ripping sound and turn around to see a zombie standing
there with your heart. "Suit up buddy, you're one of us
now!"
A laser tag version with sensors on the zombie helmet
and a heart you just have to touch on the front and back
of the vest would work too.
[link]
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I dunno. I'm not big on organized sports. [+] |
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Also needs real jelly doughnuts inside the removable
organ pouches. |
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I am sure defenders would repel the advancing zombies with multiple body and groin shots. It is difficult to run up and grapple with someone who has a paintball gun blazing away. |
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Plus I think you would need more zombie players on the field than you would be likely to find in order to make this realistic. |
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I think a 3 to 1 zombie to human ratio would even
things out. Zombies could also put their hands up to
block shots. Only head shots kill remember. |
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Have you ever caught a paintball in the hand? It feckin'
hurts, [Doc]! |
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Particularly when some of the more ... unsporting ... combatants have "adjusted" their paintball guns to be a trifle more "effective" than the standard ones. |
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And added a few finishing touches. |
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Such as infrared sights ... |
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//Have you ever caught a paintball in the hand?// |
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Caught one on the lip once. Sucker took some
kind
of Governor Connally magic bullet trajectory and
managed to get under my mask. Still not sure
how. |
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But I didn't have time to bleed. Oh, wait, now that
I
think of it, actually I did. |
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Also made the mistake of getting shot and
mistiming the raising of my hand (to signify I was
out) and standing up, doing the standing part
first.
Got salvoed from about 5
angles at once. I'm guessing a firing squad would
hurt more, but not much. |
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I was simply asking because it's hard to imagine anyone
who's played the game willingly trying to block a shot with
their open hand. I got one smack on the palm once, and
another time a ball found its way under the cuff of my
glove (in similar fashion to the one that got inside your
mask, probably) and exploded between my middle and
index fingers. I've played paintball three times in my life,
been shot in the hand on two of those occasions. |
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Yea, I'm thinking this might be a little more sense
with laser tag since running up to a guy with a
paintball gun without your own paintball gun might
be less than fun. |
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The solution for paintball would be very heavy
padding everywhere, hands included. |
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Or the laser thing. Paintballs do hurt like hell. |
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//It is difficult to run up and grapple with someone who has a paintball gun blazing away.// |
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Yes. Yes it is. Running at five of them firing thirteen rounds per second is even more difficult.
You should have seen the welts on me... and then you should have seen theirs. |
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//Have you ever caught a paintball in the hand?// |
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We switch up games fairly often. Sometimes we play what we call Confederacy where both armies stand apart in an empty field with solid lines facing one another and fire a single shot at the other army.
Then they get a shot.
Then everyone advances a single pace and does it again until one side is wiped out.
You are not allowed to crouch or leave your feet, you have to take it like a man. Only torso and head-shots count. |
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Dodging and paintball catching is acceptable. |
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I really like physical zombie fighting game idea, but
think a Lazertag-type system would work better,
more realistically (once you've accepted zombies as
"eealistic") and much less messily and expensively. |
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Definitely keep the heart-rip-outy chestpiece part,
enhanced with an electric lock to prevent "dead"
headshot zombies from winning on the follow-
through. |
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Lasertag would also better simulate the very real difficulty
of scoring a headshot under combat conditions. |
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