Winged Monkey Sprinkler

Many parts of the world (though not Kansas) are afflicted with the problem of evil witches who can only be killed by water. The traditional method of administering this is via a bucket. However, such a device holds only enough for one application, is hard to aim, and requires the user to get close enough to the witch to launch it.

Therefore, I propose we turn the witch's minions against her. We must capture one or more of her army of winged monkeys and fit them with water sprinkler units similar to those used for cleaning cars or watering gardens, hiding the nozzles in its wings. This way we may be able to use the minion to destroy its master.

The winged monkey would simply fly up to the witch and automatically unleash a spray of fine droplets of water, which on contact with our ruby-slippered, stripey-socked foe would cause immediate vanishment. Since evil hench-creatures are generally characterised by extreme stupidity, they may very well not notice the extra weight, especially if camouflaged under the natty jacket they like to wear.

But how do we ensure the water is released in the correct location, you object. We wouldn't want the water pumping harmlessly over the ocean, or worse causing rust damage to a passing Tin Man. One solution would be to add motion sensors and have the monkey spray when it lands. But this will fail if the beast stops mid-flight to kidnap a small dog or perpetrate other impulse crimes.

What we need is to attach the sprinkler to a commercially available smoke alarm. Witches are always vanishing in puffs of smoke, so it stands to reason their head offices will be permanently shrouded in a thick fug. Furthermore, the very act of applying water to a witch will produce more smoke, creating a positive feedback loop. Optionally, the monkey may unleash a small amount of water randomly or on touch-down to attempt to start such a chain reaction.

How will it work? We bait a winged monkey trap with a dog or rat (or intermediate lifeform). The monkey flies down, and we catch and tranquilize it. We fit the monkey with a water sprinkler hidden in its jacket and wings, and release it. The monkey, then, will fly into Witch Central. It will land by its evil mistress to await its diploma in mayhem, but the motion sensor will administer a cautious spray of water. This will hit the witch, causing a small amount of discombobulation, and creating a puff of smoke. When the monkey's smoke alarm detects the smoke, further moisture will be unleashed, and soon the witch will be reduced to a pointy hat and cloak on the ground.

Furthermore, in the event of a "peace dividend" or witch famine, I believe this technology would have civilian applications in fire-fighting.