Welcome to The Hotel John Coltrane

I listen to a lot of radio, BBC R4 being one of my favourite stations, but every so often a track is played that fills me with total teeth clenching rage. That has just happened, as the loathsome Eagles track "Welcome to the Hotel California" has been played (again).

I could make a list of hated tracks that I never want to hear again. I suspect most people could. Cockney Rebel would feature at the top of that list along with The Dubliners, and many more.... "Come On Eileen" - Dexys Midnight Runners grrrrrrrrrrrrr that one is like audio waterboarding for me.

Now for the solution. A piece of extra circuitry containing some kind of digital signature of all of my most hated tracks, pre-loaded via the internet, so that I don't have to listen to them as they are installed on the chip.

Through this circuit would pass every radio signal prior to being allowed to emerge from the actual speaker. A slight delay would allow them to be analysed.

If the signatures of any of my hated songs were detected and matched up, they would be instantly supplanted with other music of identical length from a library of my desired choices. Welcome to The Hotel John Coltrane.