Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Watermelon Snorkel

It's such a pretty color
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
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Disclaimer: We are having near-record heat this week, and are slightly mad.

I really despise the idea of slicing a watermelon.
1. I just don't want to take the time.
2. I'm best not left wandering around with a knife at family reunions.
3. Slicing the watermelon simply telegraphs an intention to share, which may not be the case.
4. You can't make the slices come out evenly, anyway.
5. Slicing lets the cold out.

So, if I can get an end off, or some other way get a hole big enough for access, I simply desire to commit an act which would be suicidal without some extraordinary aid. Such as a snorkel.

This snorkel is a double-barrelled affair, with respiratory ducts leading to a sealed nasal cannula, and a separate short tube with a jaw operated chopper prop to chew into the juicy cold red meat. A grate separator mechanism, also powered by the motion of the user's jaw, removes the seeds and sends them out a second tube. (Further refinements of this design will allow either the exhaled air to blow the seeds away, or possibly there will be a pinch-effect seed discharger... for now, the seeds are just collected in my plumber's fit jeans, not wasting any of the cool.)

After the first trial run, I believe I will break the handle off someone else's ice cream scoop, and attach to the end of the collector, angled to one side. This way, I can put the watermelon on my head, and by gradually turning the melon, eventually scoop my way clear to the bottom.

lurch, Jul 15 2005

Careful. http://www.makeupby...les/watermelon2.jpg
You are what you eat. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 16 2005]

[link]






       This one needs a drawing. Or picture of a prototype in use.
Worldgineer, Jul 15 2005
  

       A wearable watermelon, looks like to me. An odd approach to hogging fruit. Or staying cool.   

       I think lurch should simply take the watermelon's place in the fridge.
DrCurry, Jul 15 2005
  

       If you were greedily snorkeling that watermelon on such a hot day, and I was just a bit more immature than I think I am, I'd take the opportunity to get in a few punches while you're incapacitated.   

       Don't forget the skull-cap too, unless you want to eat a bunch of hair & hair products.
sophocles, Jul 15 2005
  

       I'd buy these. No, in fact, I'd give these away, just to see them in use. The image of a whole crowd of people, with watermelons for heads, is priceless.
david_scothern, Jul 16 2005
  

       Ah, but all the goodness is in the skin.
Basepair, Jul 16 2005
  

       I’m envisioning an army of melon men, carrying their water and food on their heads, sneaking up, snorkels making hollow Darth Vader sounds, and then ... Puufft! Puufft! Spitting seeds into the eyes of a horrified enemy.
ldischler, Jul 16 2005
  
      
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