h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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With the leaps in wireless networking and mobile phones, it should now be possible to construct a headset for your dog with cameras mounted on it to see what the dog sees.
On your XBox you could have the dogs-eye view where your control pad sends electric shocks to the dog's left ear to go right and
the right ear to go left and to the nose to stop. I'm sure the dog would learn quickly enough, and if not use the right control to alter the voltage of the shock; he'll soon learn. A special split screen version could allow you to talk 2 dogs for a walk if you have 2.
In this day and age of The Sims and other equally unfathomably boring games that our kids enjoy, this would translate an interesting, healthy walk in the fresh air with your dogs in to a video game merged with reality, where the stakes are higher. In this, if you get it wrong and your dog walks in the road then it might die, and so that will cost you a lot to replace, unless you simply get another from the local abandoned dogs home which would be cheaper.
No more pooper-scoopers or plastic bags for the unmentionables. Simply steer the dog to the neighbour you least like and deposit in the front garden - extra points.
With lots of people working away from home or going on holiday, now it need not affect your pets - they can still get walked with the internet version of the program, which is available on a subscription basis.
Wikipedia: Remote-controlled animal
http://en.wikipedia...e-controlled_animal
[jutta, Apr 20 2007]
[link]
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A radio-controlled dog! And if that works, we could chip Grandpa, too! |
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What [po] said, and for extra points, I'll throw in a big fishbone in your front garden. |
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See link for a small menagerie of existing remote-controlled animal experiments - no dogs yet; but clearly possible, considering that mild (signalling, not punishing) electric shocks are already used in dog training collars. |
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This is wrong in so many ways. |
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And even more ways on top of that. |
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Poor Fido.
He wants to smell the arse of another dog: "Bzzzzzzz", yelp.
He wants to piss on a car tyre:"Bzzzzzz", yelp.
He wants to shag that bitch on heat:"Bzzzzzz", yelp.
He wants a crap:"Bzzzzzzzzzzzz", yelp. |
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That's pretty much all the reasons for a dog to go for a walk. |
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When he gets home and you take his collar off, don't be surprised if he takes your hand off as well. |
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Animals have feelings, too! |
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Just wondering: is there a "cruel and unusual" clause for animals as well? |
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Two dogs in my house and this could be the alternative to putting the poor babies into kennels while I go away for weeks at a time enjoying myself!! (pity about the electric shock bit though!) |
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I'm not suggesting frying their brains with an electric shock, just communicating to them that this is not what you want them to do... Anyway, having tried a crude version on my dogs it does appear to work, although unfortunately my first dog died in a road accident, probably because the electric shock was too weak. |
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Not that different from an "invisible fence," which
consists of a buried, electrified cable and a
shocking collar on the dog. When the dog gets too
close to the buried cable, it gets a tingle from the
collar. |
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There is also a "bark control" collar for controlling
excessive barking. |
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Put those together with a miniature camera and
transmitter, and you might have an effective
training aid, but I suggest incorporating a speaker,
so you can give the dog voice commands as well. |
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