Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Almost as great as sliced bread.

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Vlad the Kebabber

Worse.
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Passing unfortunates staked along the path to the castle, villagers with torches and garlic, crucifixes fourished, wooden stakes at the ready, flood the portcullis, lusting for the blood of the vampire.

But wait! Looking inside their fear is unbounded as they see the latest abomination of Vlad Tepes, formerly known as Vlad the Impaler. They break and run in panic, having recognized their burgomeister and the village council in a grisly line dance choreographed by a 10-meter iron sword.

Now known as Vlad the Kebabber.

minoradjustments, Oct 22 2023

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       So the innovation is that he does it horizontally?
Voice, Oct 22 2023
  

       Or is it the slices of capsicum in between?
pertinax, Oct 22 2023
  

       Sounds like Vlad the Foosballer...
21 Quest, Oct 23 2023
  

       Sadly baked in reality by Roman Emperor Nero who greatly enjoyed the spectacle of making human torches, though I don't think he had them rotating. (the details are nevertheless totally vile)
xenzag, Oct 23 2023
  

       The artist formally known as Pierce?...   

       It's still the "mystery meat" aspect of kebabs that disturbs me, and while Vlad the Kebabber might be a little more choosy, it's going to be the "other white meat" (not chicken) that holds the appeal for him, I think.
yorkshirebarm, Oct 24 2023
  
      
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