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Variable Rhythm Car Alarm

 This is for my own use - not all those other people because it's too annoying
  (+5)
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I heard the rhythmic honking of a vehicle in the middle distance the other day, quickly identified it as a car alarm so blithely continued with my chores. It occurred to me later that if I was the owner of a car which was being burgled I wouldn't like other people to ignore the honking. What's needed (for my vehicles only and perhaps for those of a select few Halfbakers) is a variable rhythm honking alarm which mimics how a pissed-off or upset human would blow the horn trying to get someone's attention. That would make me nosy enough to amble over to see what was going on.
—AusCan531, Nov 17 2017

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       Or it could shout for help ...   

       " Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! ", perhaps ?
—8th of 7, Nov 17 2017
   

       I think this would actually be very effective, and incredibly annoying. People always try to find patterns. If it had no pattern people would keep listening, trying to determine the pattern.   

       Imagine if this went off just outside your house.   

       BEEP.
beep beep.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
beep
beep beep beep
beep
be..
beep
beep
beep
BEEP BEEP
beep
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
   

       How could you sleep through that? You couldn't. You'd have to get up, get a giant rock, and heave it through the window of that car.
—mylodon, Nov 17 2017
   

       I once got up at night to quell a house alarm on my street. I got out a ladder, climbed up the front of the house, then bashed the alarm to bits with a lump hammer. Where I live this is sort of the expected thing to do. Cars with incessant alarms are simply burnt.
—xenzag, Nov 17 2017
   

       // simply burnt //   

       Is that different from being burnt in a complicated way ?
—8th of 7, Nov 17 2017
   

       Yes - complicated involves the use of some kind of appartus. Simply = a bottle of petrol, a brick, a piece of rag and a match.
—xenzag, Nov 17 2017
   

       I was thinking along the same sort of lines as [8th], except "repossessed".
—pertinax, Nov 17 2017
   

       I think the idea is good, so it wins one of my very rare and much coveted croissant fragments, (which equal many complete meals from lesser mortals). This is it surrounded by curly brackets to keep it clean and safe from marauding flies, and other jealous bakers who may attempt to "drag-and-drop" it unto one of their feeble offerings. {+}
—xenzag, Nov 17 2017
   

       forget the honking altogether - have a recording of an attention-seeking car shouting "HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT ME!!!!! SOMEONE IS STEALING ME.. OR MAYBE THE WIND JUST BRUSHED MY ASS INAPPROPRIATELY, I DUNNO I'M A CAR. EITHER WAY, LOOK AT ME! I'M HOT!!!!!!!!"
—Treejuice, Nov 17 2017
   

       ... particularly if it's in [xen]'s neighborhood and someone's just lobbed a petrol bomb ...
—8th of 7, Nov 17 2017
   

       I’m honoured [xenzag]. However if any car alarm manufacturer follows up upon my idea and actually builds the bloody thing I shall feel a bit like Robert Oppenheimer.
—AusCan531, Nov 17 2017
   

       You mean "Really pissed off because you've been dead for fifty years" ?
—8th of 7, Nov 17 2017
   

       Wait... I missed that. They have petrol in France??
—MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 17 2017
   

       They have a volatile, flammable liquid that you can run engines on, but they call it "calvados", not petrol. It's difficult to store as it attacks most metals, plastics, ceramics, glass, passing dogs, unwary drunks, and has been known to sneak out at night an tear the throats out of bears.
—8th of 7, Nov 17 2017
   


 

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