h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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I heard the rhythmic honking of a vehicle in the middle
distance
the other day, quickly identified it as a car alarm so blithely
continued with my chores. It occurred to me later that if I
was the
owner of a car which was being burgled I wouldn't like other
people to ignore the honking.
What's needed (for my vehicles only and perhaps for those of
a
select few Halfbakers) is a variable rhythm honking alarm
which
mimics how a pissed-off or upset human would blow the horn
trying to get someone's attention. That would make me nosy
enough to amble over to see what was going on.
[link]
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Or it could shout for help ... |
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" Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help,
I'm being repressed! ", perhaps ? |
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I think this would actually be very effective, and incredibly annoying. People always try to find patterns. If it had no pattern people would keep listening, trying to determine the pattern. |
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Imagine if this went off just outside your house. |
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BEEP.
beep beep.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
beep
beep beep beep
beep
be..
beep
beep
beep
BEEP BEEP
beep
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
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How could you sleep through that? You couldn't. You'd have to get up, get a giant rock, and heave it through the window of that car. |
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I once got up at night to quell a house alarm on my street. I got out a ladder, climbed up the front of the house, then bashed the alarm to bits with a lump hammer. Where I live this is sort of the expected thing to do. Cars with incessant alarms are simply burnt. |
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Is that different from being burnt in a complicated way ? |
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Yes - complicated involves the use of some kind of appartus. Simply = a bottle of petrol, a brick, a piece of rag and a match. |
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I was thinking along the same sort of lines as [8th], except
"repossessed". |
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I think the idea is good, so it wins one of my very rare and much coveted croissant fragments, (which equal many complete meals from lesser mortals). This is it surrounded by curly brackets to keep it clean and safe from marauding flies, and other jealous bakers who may attempt to "drag-and-drop" it unto one of their feeble offerings. {+} |
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forget the honking altogether - have a recording of
an attention-seeking car shouting "HEY EVERYONE,
LOOK AT ME!!!!! SOMEONE IS STEALING ME.. OR
MAYBE THE WIND JUST BRUSHED MY ASS
INAPPROPRIATELY, I DUNNO I'M A CAR. EITHER WAY,
LOOK AT ME! I'M HOT!!!!!!!!" |
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... particularly if it's in [xen]'s neighborhood and someone's just lobbed a petrol bomb ... |
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I’m honoured [xenzag]. However if any car alarm
manufacturer follows up upon my idea and actually builds
the bloody thing I shall feel a bit like Robert Oppenheimer. |
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You mean "Really pissed off because you've been dead for fifty years" ? |
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Wait... I missed that. They have petrol in France?? |
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They have a volatile, flammable liquid that you can run engines
on, but they call it "calvados", not petrol. It's difficult to store as
it attacks most metals, plastics, ceramics, glass, passing dogs,
unwary drunks, and has been known to sneak out at night an
tear the throats out of bears. |
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