h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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I don’t like to admit it but I have a jar of Samosa Chutney that is over 30 years old. I don’t know how old exactly but I would like to. If I had a self-powered, postage stamp size, stick-on date timer that was idle unless touched (to preserve battery), I could know exactly. This Chutney lives in the
upper left recesses of the fridge. I say hello every now and then. This morning I ate a chorizo with it. Delicious.
Maybe the power could come from the fridge light, or some widget that works on the temperature, or the change in pressure when the door is opened.
These could come on a sheet like stamps and only activate when they had been removed from the backing, which will keep them charged. The Universal Dater starts up with the current date each time you take one off. It looks like a thin plastic label until you touch it, when it displays the date of installation and the total days elapsed. Non-toxic and food grade, of course, so you can use it on veggies, fruit, or beverage containers. Works in or out of the fridge so you can track your Bourbon or canned food, cosmetics, footwear, sex lube, potato chips, etc.
Put one on your phone to tell you when you’ve fallen out of fashion, or gently apply one to the shoulder of a soon-to-not-be-loved one. There are a million uses for the Universal Dater.
(Comes in a minute-timer version for short relationships or Chinese food.)
{Are people bunning or boning their own ideas? Isn’t that an ethical breach?}
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//If I had a self-powered, postage stamp size, stick-on date timer that was idle unless touched (to preserve battery), I could know exactly.// |
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Only if you planned in advance and stuck it on 30 years ago. |
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How is this better than an old fashioned library style date stamp? |
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Do you think stamping everything with today's date is a healthy behaviour? |
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You touch it, it shows the installation date and the time elapsed. In some crucial instances the greater danger is ingesting something from the archive unknowingly. |
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“Was that gumbo from the squaredance a week ago Wednesday? Or the one before that?” |
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What will you date stamp? A plum? |
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[pocmloc] Please Only Comment Moderately, Leaving Out Calumny. |
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//a week ago Wednesday? Or the one before that?”// |
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Well if you had remembered to datestamp it you would know. I left the device sitting on the table there to remind you to use it but do you actually pick it up and use it? No. Is this the first time this has happened? No. |
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// Do you think stamping everything with today's date is a healthy behaviour?// |
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{shuffles feet awkwardly} |
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Realizing that I am a forgetful packrat when it comes to the last schmear of Nuoc Chan, I write a date on meds and vitamins, on condiments that are seldom used, and leftovers in the fridge or freezer. That’s what the white panel on freezer bags are for, and not just for OCD sufferers. This Universal Dater sheet of 24 Daters lives on the fridge and you peel off and affix one as you like. Opponents of entropy hate these Daters, but what could be easier and less controversial? |
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