Universal Dater

I don’t like to admit it but I have a jar of Samosa Chutney that is over 30 years old. I don’t know how old exactly but I would like to. If I had a self-powered, postage stamp size, stick-on date timer that was idle unless touched (to preserve battery), I could know exactly. This Chutney lives in the upper left recesses of the fridge. I say hello every now and then. This morning I ate a chorizo with it. Delicious.

Maybe the power could come from the fridge light, or some widget that works on the temperature, or the change in pressure when the door is opened.

These could come on a sheet like stamps and only activate when they had been removed from the backing, which will keep them charged. The Universal Dater starts up with the current date each time you take one off. It looks like a thin plastic label until you touch it, when it displays the date of installation and the total days elapsed. Non-toxic and food grade, of course, so you can use it on veggies, fruit, or beverage containers. Works in or out of the fridge so you can track your Bourbon or canned food, cosmetics, footwear, sex lube, potato chips, etc.

Put one on your phone to tell you when you’ve fallen out of fashion, or gently apply one to the shoulder of a soon-to-not-be-loved one. There are a million uses for the Universal Dater.

(Comes in a minute-timer version for short relationships or Chinese food.)

{Are people bunning or boning their own ideas? Isn’t that an ethical breach?}