h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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Under-the-thumb Hat
Worn by way of an explanation by men who would love to succumb to temptation, but are not allowed. | |
Bob dragged his sagging middle-aged ass into the bar stool and ordered his usual shot of wild turkey. It had been another soul-destroying day at the factory, and he felt stale and numb. What he needed was a pick-me-up. Another hour, and he'd be home with the family.
What if he didn't go home? What
if he broke free from his marital shackles, and headed off into the sunset, like a rather butch Thelma or Louise? He'd be in big trouble, that's what. His teenage kids would have nobody to be sarcastic towards, and his wife, rather than slowly wearing him down like water over rock, would store up a thunderstorm of complains to break over his head when he got home.
"Cheer up Bob," Randy called down the bar. "Things can't be that bad!" Randy was recently promoted and recently divorced. Bob imagined that life must be good for Randy.
"Hey Bob, we're going bowling in a while. Maybe have a few beers. Whadda ya think?" Bob stole a glance at his worn out leather bowling bag gathering dust on the glass shelf behind the bar.
"Well, you know I'd love to come along boys," Bob rolled his eyes towards the ludicrously comical 3D thumb stuck on the top of his hat, "but I guess I'd better not." Hats and thumbs bobbed up and down wistfully around the jaded bar, and one by one the guys supped up and slunk home.
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Annotation:
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Love it, have you got a piccy? |
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I could never do it like Bristolz... |
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what are you doing in the pub in the first place when you should be mowing the lawn? |
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<surreptitiously pulls down the Under-the-thumb hat earmuff attachments and continues to nod.> |
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Actually, I thought these under-the-thumb signifiers came in the form of metal bands worn on our third fingers. But, yeah, croissant anyway. |
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<mouths> "big girls' blouse" </mouths> |
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I laughed till I stopped. [+] |
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Can the other guys wear "footloose" shoes? |
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Perhaps a 'wrapped around her little finger' scarf for winter? |
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Exceptionally good quality. [Fishrat] |
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//I laughed till I stopped.// I laughed until po told me to stop. |
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Randy stared after Bob wistfully, wondering how long it would take before he would find out about the reason for his recent divorce, the long term affair he was having with Bob's wife, and the fact that he was the real father of Bob's teenage children. |
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Easier to get a ball and chain, no? |
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I have a very strange yet fascinating visual of the hat in my mind, especially after you brought the earmuffs into the picture, [Fishrat]. |
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