h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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To save counter space the toaster is attached to the wall
via
a pantograph, the power cord safely attached to each link
thereof.
To use, bread is inserted into the toaster and the toasting
mechanism activated. For local operation nothing else
need
be done. Upon completion the toast will
eject, be plucked
by
the user and spread with any number of delicious
spreadable
spreads or just gnawed on dry in truly barbaric fashion.
For remote delivery the user will follow the steps for
normal
operation followed by pressing the RED BUTTON, then go
sit
at the table to prepare the breakfast beverage and other
breakfastables. Upon completion the toast will pop up
followed by the entire toaster zinging out across the
counter and the width of the floor to the table, scaring the
shit
out of the cat and delighting the children.
[link]
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Why are your wearing dark glasses? The toaster hit me. |
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For sound and sober reasons of health and safety, the toaster
should be encased in an outsize shiny red boxing glove. I
mean, that is the default for anything deployed on the end of
a pantograph, isn't it? |
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