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Turtlesave Polythene Confettitron

 For the prevention of lethal jellyfish imitators
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Plastic bags of the type that you put fresh vegetables in when you buy them are well known for getting into the ocean and looking exactly like jellyfish, whereupon they are eaten by an unsuspecting turtle, who then suffers a horrifying and painful death.

To reduce the frequency of such occurrences, I recommend using the Turtlesave Polythene Confettitron. This device, which looks a little like a paper shredder, sucks in your bags-to-be discarded, and spits out 1-cm polyethylene squares directly into your kitchen rubbish bin. Now you don’t have to feel so guilty the next time you buy a pound of string beans.

—AO, Dec 18 2003

plastic bag ban http://www.atimes.c...d-pak/BA20Df02.html
Bags banned in parts of Australia, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Nepal [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

oh no, something else for me to worry about :( http://arago4.tn.ut.../im-so-worried.html
thanks, AO [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       I'm moderately certain that the plastic bags that bedevil turtles and other sea life are not disposed of in kitchens. But good idea, anyway.
—DrCurry, Dec 18 2003
   

       You could be mistaken, [DC]. A dump I used to drive by had a grove of trees nearby, which were often completely covered in plastic bags (it looked quite surreal). All it takes is a small breeze before they cover the latest trash load with dirt.   

       I'll bun this for the sentiment, but I think the only way to really rid the earth of the terrible things is legislatively require them to be biodegradable.
—Worldgineer, Dec 18 2003
   

       Another way would be to make the bags edible, addictive, and biodelicious.
—Laughs Last, Dec 18 2003
   

       Recycling?
—kropotkin, Dec 19 2003
   

       plastic bags do degrade over time if given the right conditions, which can be hard in a landfill. even paper doesn't degrade in landfills sometimes... the problem is that plastic turns into water and carbon dioxide, which is a greenhouse gas. recycling is the answer at this point in time
—luecke, Dec 19 2003
   

       //plastic bags do degrade//   

       I recollect somebody suggesting earthworms armed with ultraviolet headlights.
—neelandan, Dec 20 2003
   

       //biodelicious// Last Laffer, you ought to submit that to pseudodictionary.com ( ! )   

       Only word I've ever bothered submitting was "blinglish"
—thumbwax, Dec 20 2003
   


 

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