h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Although swallowing the weighted end of the MaxCo's
Tummidom may take a little getting used to, once it is in
place you will hardly know it's there. The throat-friendly
adhesive band will keep the mouth of the Tummidom in
place, and the thin silken removal cord will tuck comfortably
into your
cheek.
Finally, you can dine to the very limits of your capacity and
budget, safe in the knowledge that all those trans-fats,
sugars and salts can be whisked away post-prandially with the
pull of a cord and a quick twist of the self-sealing neck.
[link]
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So what happens after you seal the neck? Do you attempt to pull the now-full bag back up through your throat or do you somehow hope that the bag will pass through. |
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It seem like regurgitation would be an option, and the Tummidom would allow a long period between consumption and regurgitation without the risk of calorie absorbtion, but in that case it really doesn't need a self-sealing neck. |
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We recommend that the bag is sealed during the
process of removal, but personal preferences are a
matter of personal preference. |
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How about making it a bit longer, and go all the way
- such a tube would allow the food to pass
unhindered 'twixt ingress and egress without, as it
were, touching the sides. |
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Would your stomach acid leak up your esophagus with
a string going up it? Couldn't you die if the string
breaks? Hasn't this already been baked by someone
smuggling drugs? |
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Wouldn't it be easier to invent a sterile tape worm
with a limited lifespan? How about one that only eats
fats or carbs depending on which one of the dieting
gurus you listen to. |
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//Would your stomach acid leak up your esophagus
with a string going up it?// The string is attached
only to the next of the Tummidom, which is
peelably adhesed around the top of the oesophagus.
If the string breaks, fear not. Either wait for the
Tummidom to biodegrade, after which you will feel a
sudden surge of calories; or contact your local
representative to arrange stringless removal. |
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//How about making it a bit longer, and go all the
way // We've had issues with speed of transit. |
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Seems I remember Asimov having half baked one of
these, in a scene from Caves of Steel with Elijah Bailey
and R. Daneel Olivaw. |
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I dunno… Is it alcohol permeable? Or are you planning a
companion product, the MaxCo tableside enema funnel? |
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//Seems I remember Asimov having half baked one
of these// The Asimov robot could eat food to
preserve appearances, and then remove it from a
hatch in its abdoment, if I remember correctly.
Sadly not an option for unmodified humans. |
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//Is it alcohol permeable?// Perfectly so. |
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//from a hatch// yeah, that was what I was
remembering - pull out the bag; "Hey, this food has
been chewed, but otherwise it's still fine. Anybody
want some?" |
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Well, thank God for that. Saves me from having to
halfbake the enema thing. |
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as the science now appears to support, having the experience of eating food without the nutriment confuses and eventually defeats the body's normal responses to eating. Responses necessary to the safe consumption of food. Fool the brain into the pleasure of eating without the results and you will rapidly derail the whole food eating system. The two cannot be safely decoupled. |
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When my friend had throat cancer, he was fitted with a
shunt that enabled nutrients to be delivered via a tube
directly into his stomach. I often wondered what would
happen if you used the delivery syringe to suck out, instead
of pushing in.....? |
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Aside from that, I think a similar idea got posted here once
before. |
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// the MaxCo tableside enema funnel? // |
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// Saves me from having to halfbake the enema thing. // |
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You are anticipated ... however, the "appliance" that Sturton contrived to deal with Great-Uncle Threadbury's "Little Personal Difficulties" met with a somewhat mixed response. Its efficacy was difficult to dispute, and indeed we understand that it is still spoken of in hushed tones whenever protctological consultants assemble; but opinion is divided as to whether such a relatively intimate personal function is amenable to the "shock and awe" approach - at least, not more than once. Needless to say, Threadbury's interrment was of necessity a "closed-casket" ceremony, mostly due to the expression on his face which the morticians found impossible to modify, and not helped by the prolonged delay caused by four successive post-mortems and the subsequent intervention of senior U.N. weapons inspectors. |
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We understand that the only prototype example of the "Gastro-Intestinal Auto-Cleanutron", along with all the design drawings and components, was destroyed under international supervision. It's pure luck that Sturton didn't suffer the same fate; the "diminished responsibilty" defence isn't going to go on working forever (we hope). |
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//Threadbury's interrment was of necessity a
"closed-casket" ceremony// |
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I am now, thanks to certain non-developments in
the Far East, at liberty to reveal that Threedbury's
"death" (please note the correct spelling*) was a
necessary ruse. I am not, alas, yet at liberty to
reveal further details, but if I say "fracking",
"Cheshire" and "George Clooney", I believe you will
know to what I am alluding. You will have
noticed, I take it, that the price of tea has not
changed lately? |
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*of "Threedbury", not of "death". |
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// I believe you will know to what I am alluding. // |
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Ahhhh ... now it becomes clear. Tenor or Alto ? |
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// You will have noticed, I take it, that the price of tea has not changed lately? // |
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Yes, and we had our suspicions, but up to now there was no actual confirmation. Such fluctuations are not, after all, uncommon. |
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//Tenor or Alto// At those pressures, heliox was of
course the only option, so alto. |
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