h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Tube Sewer
Make trains watertight and use the tunnels for sewage. | |
Everyone knows that underneath cities there is not much space left for cables/pipes/tunnels etc. And everyone knows that trains smell of urine anyway. So why not convert trains into submarines and fill the tunnels with sewage ? Then there'll be no need for new sewer pipes, and more importantly the new
submarine (sub-urban ?!?) trains would potentially be able to go along any road that has an existing sewer pipe - which is virtually everywhere. People may even want to buy a small private train and park it in their own septic tank.
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The cost would be tremendous. |
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They wouldn't go very fast. |
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Sewage would be constantly gumming
up the propellers. |
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It would smell vastly worse than
even the seediest public transit
system today. |
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Stations would have to be
egregiously complicated affairs. |
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How would the trains be powered? |
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Most existing sewer pipes are way
too small for trains, filled with
all sorts of sudden turns and
spillways that are no good for
transportation, and don't run
quite where you'd want them. |
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What about when the passengers disembark and it's drooling raw sewage on them and the stink is so bad they can't see their way out? Not to mention all the points you didn't rebut... |
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Trains could be powered by all the methane kicking about... |
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With no smoking allowed and stinky boggin subways, new yorkers would feel right at home... |
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