Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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System of Underground Ski-Lifts as a Subway
The Great London Tube Reversal
Topless Tunnel Train
Train Kindergarten
Tube Sewer
Underground 1st Class Compartments
Underground Station Mascot Dogs
Underground Train Party Party
Waterside Tube
...

vehicle:mass transit: subway

... atmosphere
... boarding
... express
... navigation
... non-stop

Tube Sewer

Make trains watertight and use the tunnels for sewage.

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Everyone knows that underneath cities there is not much space left for cables/pipes/tunnels etc. And everyone knows that trains smell of urine anyway. So why not convert trains into submarines and fill the tunnels with sewage ? Then there'll be no need for new sewer pipes, and more importantly the new submarine (sub-urban ?!?) trains would potentially be able to go along any road that has an existing sewer pipe - which is virtually everywhere. People may even want to buy a small private train and park it in their own septic tank.

—	lubbit, Apr 29 2001

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The cost would be tremendous.

They wouldn't go very fast.

Sewage would be constantly gumming up the propellers.

It would smell vastly worse than even the seediest public transit system today.

Stations would have to be egregiously complicated affairs.

How would the trains be powered?

Most existing sewer pipes are way too small for trains, filled with all sorts of sudden turns and spillways that are no good for transportation, and don't run quite where you'd want them.

—	egnor, Apr 29 2001

What about when the passengers disembark and it's drooling raw sewage on them and the stink is so bad they can't see their way out? Not to mention all the points you didn't rebut...

—	snarfyguy, May 20 2003

Trains could be powered by all the methane kicking about...

With no smoking allowed and stinky boggin subways, new yorkers would feel right at home...

—	MikeOliver, May 20 2003

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