h a l f b a k e r yIt's not a thing. It will be a thing.
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Ever found after washing your hands at a groin-level basin to find that the over-enthusiastic tap has launched water at your light-coloured leg-wear, and the world now thinks you've had an embarrassing trouser incident? *
The Trouser Bib comes in a variety of designs, two of which are described here.
The
first takes the form of a roller-blind mechanism, worn as a belt.
A swift tug unravels the bib, to cover the vulnerable area.
A second tug retracts the bib.
The second is a modified sporran, with a radial leaf-shutter-like mechanism.
Here, a simple twist deploys the crotch umbrella.
A second twist retracts.
Groinal moistness is avoided, and hilarity does not ensue.
* I have.
Inuit loophole for sealskin sporrans
http://www.bbc.co.u...ds-islands-11373000
You can't make this stuff up ... [8th of 7, Sep 23 2010]
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Apart from the hilarity of wearing a sporran with trousers, of course. |
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If you're worried, splash some water on your hip as camoflouge. |
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Needs more pyrotechnics. "Thermite-based Instantaneous Trouser Drier". |
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We think you should rephrase that as "But that's a risk I'm willing for you to take on my behalf." |
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Learn not to urinate upon your hands? |
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//Learn not to urinate upon your hands?// |
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Won't help if, say, you took a dump, wiped, and
_oops_-- >finger-through-the-paper.< You wash your
hands in the same position, don't you, for #1 or #2? |
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Bun, for the umbrella alone...and for the sporran. |
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Sporrans are an endangered species ... <link> |
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Well, then, we'd best get on with it. |
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//Needs more pyrotechnics.// A stylish gent, strolling along
the boulevard while idly deploying and retracting the crotch
umbrella, in the manner of Maurice Chevalier twiddling a
cane,
will be *quite* enough thank you kindly. |
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//It also happens while washing dishes//
I had to ask Mrs AWOL to explain what that was. |
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