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America is a Puritan nation. Want a beer in the park? Bee-boo, bee-boo, it's the cops! Can't have that!
So, to solve the problem, transdermal beer patches. Stout, porter, IPA. Take a six pack with you, take two or three! Just make sure not to litter-- there's fines for that too.
Borgflakes
Borgflakes
Inspired by [MB] [8th of 7, Jan 20 2020]
Sherry
https://en.wikipedi...hol_enema#Incidents
So very, very wrong... [8th of 7, Jan 21 2020]
"awww" response to very young mammals
https://twitter.com...63293862322176?s=20
Doesn't always work ;D [Skewed, Jan 24 2020]
[link]
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Could you do another for a Transgender Beer Patch? |
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Just to
assuage my title misread induced disappointment. |
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So what's the precise wording of the relevant law? |
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Any new method of alcohol consumption is always welcome
of
course,
especially by Sturton, he's come up with more than one
rather
surprising innovation in this area of endeavour himself, but
he's always interested in new suggestions. |
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I just
worry
this may still be interpretable within the letter of the law
as
'consumption'. |
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One problem is that you need a fair old volume of ethanol to
achieve the desired result. A beer is several ml of ethanol, so
your patch is going to be rather bulky. |
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Beer is a lot more than alcohol, and most of that is for taste. So this idea is nonsensical. |
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// he's come up with more than one rather surprising innovation in this area // |
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Don't go there - it's a very dark place, and there's absolutely nothing good in it. |
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// rather bulky// What! wearing a nappy on the arm can't become a thing? |
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// Could you do another for a Transgender Beer Patch? // |
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What about a "Transdermal Bear Patch" ? |
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Would a Bear Patch attract a bear, repel a bear, or turn you
INTO a bear?
Or is it more like a software Patch? Upgrade your dog with a
Bear Patch... |
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Drunk guy gets pulled over. He quickly peels the paper label from the bottle he's drinking from, licks it and sticks it to his forehead.
Cop asks "Have you been drinking sir?"
Drunk says "No Ociffer... I'm on the patch." |
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//Transdermal Bear Patch// |
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Better yet combine them, a Transgender Bear Patch. |
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Hey, [Skewed], don't you dare try to outweird us - we get stranger things than you free with our breakfast cereal. |
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I thought you *were* a weird free thing in breakfast cereal? |
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//we get stranger things than you free with our breakfast
cereal// |
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[Pauses to count how many toes he has on each foot] |
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[Remembers he doesn't have any] |
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[Casually picks what might pass for a bogey from what
might pass for a nostril with one translateral 'tentacle'] |
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[Tucks it away in his sporran for future reference] |
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// I thought you *were* a weird free thing in breakfast cereal? // |
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//Shudder// //it's a very dark place, and there's absolutely
nothing good in it// |
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You're thinking of his real ale colonic irrigation party last
september aren't you? |
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Yes, despite strenuous efforts not to... <link> |
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//Upgrade your dog with a Bear Patch// |
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In St Petersburg, I once saw a man walking a black bear on a
dog leash. It was quite a small bear, but still surprising; "Why is
that dog walking like that? It looks just like a ... Wait a minute!" |
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Which one ? There are several. |
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Bears, if domesticated as cubs, and well-treated, can be quite docile; but are still very powerful and dangerous. A big problem is that they are intelligent, and like to play. When they try to play with their human friends as if those humans were other bears, bad things can happen, even though the bear means no harm. |
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The one where Boris Yeltsin installed a spectacularly tasteless
statue of Peter the Great. That St Petersburg. |
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Ok, Florida then. If you're expecting "spectacularly tasteless", Florida is the go-to place. |
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Oddly enough, I know a man who had (and probably still
has) two bears. He and his wife raised them both from
birth. One of them (I mean one of the bears; not the man
or his wife) was a bit grumpy and had definite moods, but
on the whole they were surprisingly amiable, which is just
as well. They're quite astonishingly clever - way smarter
than dogs; the main problem in keeping them is not so much
that they're unpredictable, but that you have to understand
their moods and be able to interact with them. They can
also understand human speech way better than dogs -
probably about as well as trained chimps or gorillas. |
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So, airline check-in staff could be replaced by tame bears ? That would be excellent ... |
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Actually, hang on, now that I think of it, it was children, not
bears. |
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Wishful thinking ? Baby bears are way cuter than human infants ... |
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//among most* people, human infants are cuter than just
about anything// To quote an unknown source, "Children are
like farts; you really only enjoy your own." |
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//many of species// many other species And do you have
any experimental evidence that non-human species tend to
like the young of other species aside for on the menu? |
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[Voice];I've seen (on a documentary) a crocodile (or possibly
an alligator; it was a while ago...) carrying baby turtles from
their nest down to the ocean, as it would with it's own
offspring.
So, yeah, sometimes they do... |
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I think interspecific parental responses are sometimes real. In
the case of mammals, all young have abnormally large heads
and eyes (proportionately), and I'd guess that most mammals
are programmed to respond to those features as a simple
shortcut, even in mammals of other species. |
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Human adults certainly have an "awww" response to most very
young mammals. |
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//Human adults certainly have an "awww" response to most
very young mammals// |
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Maybe those are adult mice. |
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Ever seen baby mice or rats, or day old puppies squirming in
a
heap for that matter, the way they move & squirm, the lack
of
leg strength to hold their body up (all lying on their bellies
wriggling), these are young .. & given those indicators
they must still be very young so far too big for mice. |
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Baby rats and baby humans have a lot in common. Especially the humans who grow up to be lawyers. |
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Although it's reasonable to conclud that they were rats all the time. |
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Newborn puppies are nowhere near as repulsive as rats or humans, possibly because they grow up to be dogs. |
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