h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
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Toothpoo
the ultimate gentleman's grooming product | |
"Take two bottles into the shower?" asked
the television advert incrediuously. Not
any more, no Siree bob.
Toothpoo is the ultimate
"grooming, in a bottle" product. Whack
some on your hair to style, brush your
teeth with it, slap some to your wrinkled
face to moisturise (the menthol really
helps
here).
There's more. Bosh some underarm for
all
day freshness, buff your shoes with it.
SPF 30 of course - don't want you getting
sunburned.
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Moistro-poo? Call it toothpoo instead, that'll really get people interested... |
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[edit] good, good, carry on. |
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My teeth will never get sunburned again. |
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It's basically a lotion, with menthol, with
CaCO3 for abrasion (for face and teeth). I
would have told you all of that, but that
would have made it a recipe and I'm not
providing a recipe, only the idea. |
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tooth_o, or not tooth_o - that is the question. |
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Hmmm... abrasive underarm lotion... |
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Thousands of marketing gurus slaving away for decades coming up with all manner of toiletries... and all trumped by one halfbaker who thought "Why are they called toiletries?" + |
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I thought this was the ultimate in rarity - a cross between hens' teeth and rocking-horse shit. |
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While it's a resourceful idea, no company
would ever sell it, it'd ruin their income!
Chemically, that would have to be one
well-thought out formula to do all the
above and remain safe.
No bun, but no bone either. |
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Comes with a 3-meter-long terry cloth buffer/applicator/warning label. |
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It does everything? Sounds like dentifrice artifice -- sham-paste. |
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There might be a market for gross-me-out brown toothpaste... |
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I think a better name is "grooming poo". |
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//it'd ruin their income// Not if it were $78 a bottle. |
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And don't forget the instructions... |
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Use. Repeat. Repeat again. Keep repeating. All right already! Just dump the damn bottle down the drain and buy another one will you!!! |
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