Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Business Failure Incubator

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                                           

Tofu Sex Aids

 Discover the Wonders of Vegetarian Self Stimulation
  (+26, -23)
(+26, -23) 		  [vote for,
against]

Tofu has an organic quality resembling human flesh. I have heard girlfriends divulge its texture as that of the male member when cooked/warmed.

I envision a marketing push by blue chip Tofu Mulitnationals to promote their product in a range of edible sex aids - both for men and women.

The strap - on Tofunator with vibrating multispeed tip would be a hit with lesbian vegetarian extremists who despise 'meat' of both kinds.

Feral type men who often have trouble with penetration due to over-pierced willies can safely 'deforest the untouched valleys' of the silken Tofu vagina.

Also in this range is the 'Falafel-Fist' for the earth-conscious fetish environmentalist, the natural spray on pheromone for shy hippies - 'Chick-Pea Magnet' and of course the 'Lentilly Lace' vegan underwear range - gauranteed to show off those politically hursuit thighs.

—benfrost, May 18 2001

Tofurniture http://www.halfbake...om/idea/Tofurniture
Soy Bean curd World domination! [benfrost, May 18 2001]

Meaty version? Grilly_20Willy_20Stress_20Sausage
Not intended for stimulation, though. [squeak, Jul 19 2007]

[link]






       NO!
—Susen, May 18 2001
   

       [quote] I have heard girlfriends divulge its texture as that of the male member when cooked/warmed. [/quote]   

       I have not had the joy of experiencing a cooked male member. Do you have any recipes you could share?
—freakysid, Jan 09 2002
   

       sure
—benfrost, Jan 09 2002
   

       Errr... I won't pretend to be an expert on these things, but if my, er, "member" was the consistency of Tofu, I'd be constantly losing my "membership".
—spaceman_spiff, Jan 18 2002
   

       PeterSealy]: ". . . hung round very long." You're probably right. Likely to be some shrinkage when cooked.
—bristolz, Jan 18 2002
   

       Has anyone ever handled one of those hot banana fritters covered in batter? Blimey.
—Helium, Jan 19 2002
   

       OK, if you're reading this it's too late, but this should never have been read, or for that matter, dreamt up.
—sven3012, Jan 20 2002
   

       Eew!
—energy guy, Jan 04 2005
   

       I know some veganphiles that would endorse this, but I think [sven3012] was right. Save yourself now, while you can. Go on without me, it's only a tofu wound.
—normzone, Jan 04 2005
   

       I like that they when it's made from tofu it's a "sex Aid" as opposed to 'sex toy'. Does that mean in my soup tofu is a food aid?
—ColonelMuffins, May 04 2007
   

       I honestly can't think of a better use of tofu.
—phundug, May 04 2007
   

       Tofu implants?
—skinflaps, May 04 2007
   

       Tofu money.
—ColonelMuffins, May 04 2007
   

       A bun for //lesbian vegetarian extremists who despise 'meat' of both kinds//. [+]
—nuclear hobo, May 04 2007
   

       ditto [+]
—lilsis, May 05 2007
   

       this still comes up in conversation. and meals.
—benfrost, Jul 18 2007
   

       YES!   

       I want a full sized tofu lady. Then I could eat her.   

       MUH-AH-HA-HA-HA!!   

       rubs flippers and dives trough the surface of ice
—evilpenguin, Jul 18 2007
   

       I once did sort of a meat version of this, v. early on in my HB career. It got boned to death, never understood why. (Linky - votes oblitorated in great crash).
—squeak, Jul 19 2007
   

       +1... for 'Falafel-Fist'.
—tactik, Jul 21 2007
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

back: main index
business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle