h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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// clips to their belts // |
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What about a version that tightens around their necks
? |
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(+) The digital version is already available. Electronic links connect them to your bank accounts and social calendar, from whence they spin you silly until somewhere between their eighteenth and thirty-fifth year. |
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I will award [8th]'s second-best ornamental cat
peeler to anyone who can say "toddler orrery" five
times in under seven seconds. |
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//second-best ornamental cat peeler |
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Is that like borrowing a lawn-mower? |
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No, it's a trap, because all the cat-peelers we own are fully-
functional, not ornamental. We don't actually own ANY
ornamental cat-peelers. |
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He's just trying to get something for nothing, as usual, like one of
those bogus you-have-won-the-lottery phone calls. |
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So, the ivory inlay and the engravings of young ladies
are essential to its function, then? |
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The ivory inlay is to annoy the conservation fascists, and the
engravings are to distract attention from the actual purpose of
the device. |
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I see. And how many ornamental cats has it peeled? |
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Only by dint of avoiding the specially trained ninja RSPCA persons does 8th keep up with his ornamental cat peeling reign of terror. |
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Lived down the road from a ninja dojo, they used the same palatial guesthouse in Koshigaya as me...used to watch them eating breakfast and so wanted to say "it's not working, I can see you"... |
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//it's not working, I can see you// Maybe they were
inverse ninjas, the ones you can only see when
they're somewhere else. |
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Variable visibility could be handy for dating, like hiding wrinkles, wooden leg etc. |
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So, their ninja skills worked; you looked and saw nothing more than breakfast-eating... |
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Watch out for the stray Morris dancers that this will undoubtedly attract in springtime. |
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