h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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Toddlers love to spin their parents around in circles. Have more than one? Do they want to spin the same direction? Of course not. When do they want to spin? Probably when dad is already a bit tipsy.
This over-sized pole-mounted mobile type thing clips to their belts, keeping them all in unentangled
orbits of their own choosing.
[link]
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// clips to their belts // |
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What about a version that tightens around their necks … ? |
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(+) The digital version is already available. Electronic links connect them to your bank accounts and social calendar, from whence they spin you silly until somewhere between their eighteenth and thirty-fifth year. |
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I will award [8th]'s second-best ornamental cat
peeler to anyone who can say "toddler orrery" five
times in under seven seconds. |
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//second-best ornamental cat peeler |
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Is that like borrowing a lawn-mower? |
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No, it's a trap, because all the cat-peelers we own are fully-
functional, not ornamental. We don't actually own ANY
ornamental cat-peelers. |
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He's just trying to get something for nothing, as usual, like one of
those bogus you-have-won-the-lottery phone calls. |
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So, the ivory inlay and the engravings of young ladies
are essential to its function, then? |
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The ivory inlay is to annoy the conservation fascists, and the
engravings are to distract attention from the actual purpose of
the device. |
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I see. And how many ornamental cats has it peeled? |
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Only by dint of avoiding the specially trained ninja RSPCA persons does 8th keep up with his ornamental cat peeling reign of terror. |
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Lived down the road from a ninja dojo, they used the same palatial guesthouse in Koshigaya as me...used to watch them eating breakfast and so wanted to say "it's not working, I can see you"... |
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//it's not working, I can see you// Maybe they were
inverse ninjas, the ones you can only see when
they're somewhere else. |
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Variable visibility could be handy for dating, like hiding wrinkles, wooden leg etc. |
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So, their ninja skills worked; you looked and saw nothing more than breakfast-eating... |
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Watch out for the stray Morris dancers that this will undoubtedly attract in springtime. |
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