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Me: ”You have to hold my hand when we’re near the road”
Small: “No! Don’t want to… Not hold hand”
Me: “You’ve got to, it’s dangerous here”
Small: “No! No! Daddy! Not hold hand!” (wriggles out of grasp)
Me: “No! STOP!”…
…but she’s off, faster than I can run, straight towards the busy road junction.
Oh
no, not again.
So I unsling the harpoon gun from my back, calmly shoulder it, aim, and squeeze the trigger.
The bolt whistles through the air and thwacks into her back.
A perfect shot. The big Velcro pad on the harpoon (this is Mark II, of course) meshes with the Velcro target on her back, and I reel her in.
It’s much better than the Mark I – less mess, fewer raised eyebrows at A&E.
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Annotation:
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Sounds like some form of urban fishing. |
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Newswire: Tragic accident blamed on Toddler Harpoon kits being issued with 'loop' targets and 'loop' harpoons - kid's father to sue. |
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Mind out she doesn't get reeled in by a gang of Japanese 'scientists', out harpooning toddlers for 'research'. |
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Nice image (though the Mark I would be nicer).
Are baby reins no longer available? |
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Could save lives. Poor Eric Clapton could have used this. |
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I could use the Mark I version... |
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Sounds like you need one of those toddler harness-leash deals, [Frankx]. |
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This is not nearly what I thought it was. |
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a toddler can out-run you? [Frankx], you need to work out ;) |
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yes she can, and yes, I do! |
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.( }
|\\==o'#=== ----------------+
) | |
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Whats wrong bliss? It's not like I 'have' kids... it's more the thought of spearing them with a velcro harpoon gun from a distance of eighty paces....
*blink* |
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Oh, you guys like children? Me too! Can we swap recipes? |
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Only joking, this would be great for my pet monster - er, I mean - little brother... |
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I think lassooing children to whisk them out of the path of danger would look cooler. |
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Although it would be rather tragic if you lasooes their necks to whisk them out of safety, [hippo]. |
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